It Is Easier To Say Too Much On Readiness

You tell them you don’t want to hold her, you tell them this four times, then you fade, replaced of self by softness, sudden. When you wake, they are placing her on your chest. You cannot see her face, rather one primitive, pink hand, waving something uselessly away. But you can smell her. Her smell is yours, as if your body were turned in, then out, as a glove worn far too long, the wax and weight of you heavy, older, and they have made a wick of that youness and it has been lit for the first time now.

From Guest Contibutor, Kelli Allen

Kelli Allen’s work has appeared in numerous journals and anthologies in the US and internationally. She served as Managing Editor of Natural Bridge and holds an MFA from the University of Missouri. She is currently a Professor of English and Creative Writing at Lindenwood University. Allen gives readings and teaches workshops throughout the US. Her full-length poetry collection, Otherwise, Soft White Ash, from John Gosslee Books (2012) was nominated for the Pulitzer Prize.

The Life And Death Of A Stand-Up

He believed he had the crowd in the palm of his hand, teasing them, provoking them, then hitting them with the punchline when they least expected. He heard their laughter. They were his.

But then she interrupted. She told him to stop. She told him she was offended.

Suddenly, they were lost. They hated her, but it didn't matter. She may have committed the sin in their eyes, but he was unable to respond and so he'd lost his grip on authority.

She was the awful one but he was the one they took outside and shot in the head.

Outcome Blindness

Judge Lehman banged her gavel, demanding silence.

"One more outburst and I will find you all in contempt." The watchers reluctantly sat back down, their grumbles still filling the room. The judge asked the defendant to continue.

"As I was saying, the numbers clearly indicated there was an overwhelming likelihood the conflict would be resolved with a minimal loss of life. We forecast there was only a tenth of a percent chance we'd have more than 100 casualties."

The prosecuting attorney pressed on. "Over three million citizens died."

"Yes, but this was an extreme outlier. You obviously don't understand statistics."

Lake Wakona

George and Kristen were counselors at the Lake Wakona Christian Retreat. They'd met there several years before as campers and were eager to become reacquainted now that they were in high school.

First love can be a majestic experience, filled with dizzying heights of emotion, but almost always ending in a pit of despair. For George and Kristen it would be no different. They shared their first kiss and pledged to love each other always.

Fortunately, George and Kristen would spend the rest of their lives together. Unfortunately, they were both killed that summer by the Lake Wakona chainsaw butcher.

Dreams

He dreamed of realities that could never be. He dreamed of being an Olympian. He dreamed of winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. He dreamed of traveling to Mars and back or building a time machine. He dreamed he had the power to grant every wish. He dreamed of immortality. He dreamed he was the Creator and this entire world was a figment of his own imagination. He dreamed of true love.

Because of all these impossible dreams, he never achieved any of his dreams that were actually attainable. They all seemed pointless when compared to what was impossible.

Jodi Versus The Rain

Jodi watched the rain through the picture window. She'd never be allowed outside as long as the weather continued, but she looked and she plotted and she convinced herself that what her parents didn't know couldn't be punished.

She wrapped herself in plastic and stuffed her rain pants down her galoshes and even wore a special talisman that was meant to keep water away from her skin. She looked ridiculous but she was ready to take on the rain.

Although Jodi fought valiantly, she succumbed to the same fate as her great-grandmother. Witches just weren't meant to battle against rain.

Buzan

Buzan was an idiot-savant. His memory was prodigious, but he could not make use of the information he could recall. His parents discovered that he was an extraordinary pianist. He would play a piece through, having only heard it once on the family phonograph. He often “composed” pieces on the spot, some derived from the tones generated by the appliances in his mother’s kitchen, or his father’s shop. Most of his day was spent in the corner of the front porch playing rock, paper, scissors, by himself. The hours would fly by, and Buzan would nap on the porch swing.

From Guest Contributor, Thomas Pitre

The Mustax Pandemic

When the pandemic hit, we'd never seen anything like it. More than its destructive power, its peculiar behavior was what struck us as so frightening. We were at a loss to explain why it mostly affected adult males--a few women, never children--and seemed to be spread through barbershops and police stations at a statistically significant rate. No one mourned when hipster neighborhoods were disproportionately afflicted, but it posed more questions that we struggled to answer.

It took days before we figured out the virus was only attacking mustaches. We should have realized when Tom Selleck was the first to die.

Another Sign Of The American Decline

From a young age, Megan enjoyed the feel of new money against her skin. She would save her pennies, ride her bike to the corner bank, and trade them in for brand new dollars. Her mom would frequently find her naked in her bedroom, rolling around on her newly-acquired currency.

As an adult, Megan developed a gambling addiction. She fell into bankruptcy on three separate occasions and ruined two marriages, one of which was her own.

But when the treasury secretary succumbed to the latest bird virus, the president could find no better choice to assume the vacant cabinet position.

A Town Called Big Nothing

Rufino rode into view on his white stallion. The streets emptied like the receding tide.

He was considered a desperado, a gunfighter who roamed the towns, working for anyone willing to pay. Sometimes he was a bounty hunter, sometimes a cattle rustler, sometimes an assassin. They knew him by his tattoos. On his skin were inscribed the names of each of his victims.

Everyone in town had reason to fear Rufino's arrival. He could be there for any one of them.

When Rufino rode away into the setting sun, every single inhabitant was dead and his skin was considerably darker.