Powerful

After finishing his breakfast, Frodo sat by the kitchen recliner, begging for some of Ralph's. Any closer, and the Labrador would've been in his owner's lap. Ralph wondered if the dog considered him an all-powerful being, miraculously dishing out kibble each morning. Soon Ralph would be at his Uncle Frank's dry cleaning business, and no one considers dry cleaners to be all-powerful, although they can easily crush buttons. Frodo drooled on Ralph's crotch, as he thought – What the hell, let him imagine he's a superior being for a moment, as long as he tosses me some of that poppy-seed bagel.

From Guest Contributor David Sydney

Mountain

Eons ago I was born in a cauldron of lava and steam. When I finally cooled off, tectonic plates shifted, lifting me upward thousands of feet. The ages passed and I was molded by the rain, wind, and cold. Eventually I was dressed in vegetation and scarred by rivers. My face has developed wrinkles and I have shrunk. Through the geological ages I have looked down upon a parade of flora, sea creatures, and mammals.

Modern man sends in his bulldozers, cuts down my trees, and mines my ores. Despite this, I will be here long after they have gone.

From Guest Contributor Janice Siderius

Life In The Country

A rainbow fills the sky with blue, yellow and red colors, the vibrancy a sign it’s going to be a beautiful day. The birds chirp and soar above, their wings spread, adding to the calm of the setting.

I have the blanket and picnic ready for when he arrives, and the delicious aroma of fried chicken and ribs make my mouth water.

I throw pieces of bread into the pond for the ducks as they quack, swim, and cool in the water.

I left the city for the tranquil life of the country and I don’t regret it.

Not ever.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

Captain

The captain’s mother decided to prepare her son for a watery death. She took the boy to the seaside and held his head underwater. The captain screamed and thrashed, for the Mer people mocked him. They said you’re a Man O’ War: a floating bag of gas. But then the captain fell in love with the Mer king. One day when his mother held him under, he made to kiss the king. The king accepted his kiss by filling the boy’s lungs with water. Then he approached the mother and said, “I will be your captain.” “I accept,” she said.

From Guest Contributor Jeremy Nathan Marks

The Fade

The village of Walter's Blessing has been abandoned for more than two decades, ever since The Fade.

No one talks about The Fade. Occasionally, out-of-towners in the vicinity will visit with all kinds of stories, asking about what really happened. The locals know to keep their mouths shut.

The truth about The Fade is too awful to contemplate. Not only because no town should have to suffer what Walter's Blessing suffered. What is truly frightening is that the same thing is happening to hamlets, townships, and settlements all over the country. If you aren't careful, your home might be next.

Tempting Flavors

He tempted her with a single scarlet rose. Enchanted by its silky petals, she fell in love. When a thorn pricked her finger, she shied away. He tempted her with ripe raspberries. Delighted by tart nectar, she fell in love. When the berry’s cane scratched her skin, she shied away. He tempted her with an apple. Charmed by candied sweetness, she fell in love. When she discovered it was a forbidden fruit, she shied away. She tempted him with fermented flavors of rose, raspberry, and apple. Seduced by her ingenuity, he fell in love, and they drank happily ever after.

From Guest Contributor Elizabeth Murphy

Candles

The legendary director, ever the taskmaster, berated the gaffer, the grip, and the unfortunate production assistant who just happened to be nearby.

"There's still light leaking in. Should I send everyone to lunch while you learn how to hang a curtain?"

They'd been on set for more than three weeks, yet hadn't finished a single take.

Eventually, the cinematographer felt the mad genius had been indulged long enough.

"Listen Stanley, shooting all your interiors with natural light may have worked on Barry Lyndon, but how do you imagine we're going to illuminate this entire bloody hotel with nothing but candles?"

Just Another Day

Shots are fired and I take cover behind a bunch of boxes. I won’t last much longer without back up. The gun shots intensify and I hit the one guy in the shoulder. He drops to floor and winces.

Finally, I hear the sirens. The squad comes charging in, ready as gunfire surrounds them.

My ears ring and my knees buckle from crouching.

The shooting continues, and I’m tired and can’t hunker much longer. Finally, it quiets and someone approaches. It’s the captain. He gently places a hand on my shoulder.

“It’s over now.”

Just another day on the force.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

Problems With The Ark

Anyone who builds an Ark can expect complaints, and not just from the animals.

“This’s your stupidest idea yet, Noah.”

She got right to the point.

Not only was his wife seasick after 40 days and allergic to the weasels, but now she had to squeeze between two rhinos to sleep.

“Look, I'm only following orders.”

Orders – that was always his excuse.

Mrs. Noah added more frown lines to her face.

“Well, here's my order. From now on you’re sleeping between the two rhinos.”

“What?”

“No, forget the rhinoceroses.” She knew ‘rhinoceri’ was an improper term. “Make that the hippos.”

From Guest Contributor David Sydney

Pretty Persuasion

Sam found the devil's words to be persuasive. "Where do I sign?"

"Right here, fine sir."

As he put pen to paper, Sam paused. "I almost feel bad. It's just too good to be true."

"I assure you every clause will be followed to the letter."

"It's just I don't like to agree to anything unless I feel certain both parties will be happy."

Six hours of negotiation later, the devil finally had the satisfaction of capturing Sam's signature. Never mind a soul was no longer included. He had at least saddled Sam with a lifetime subscription to Satan's Substack.