Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey

Odysseus is a sad boy. He has been away from his wife and son for a long time. A beautiful goddess forced him to have sex with her for seven years. He really didn't like it. Then he met a beautiful witch and she made him have sex too. Again, he didn't like it.

He sailed past more beautiful women and he wanted to hear their song, because it was supposed to be the most beautiful song in the world, so he tied himself to a mast to avoid having to have sex with more beautiful women.

Poor, sad Odysseus.