Gold Leaf

The Egyptians used ocean-faring vessels during the height of their empire, and modern Peruvian fishermen still use similar reed boats. One's design is to transport a balanced soul into the afterlife, and the other is to sustain the body in life, a means of transport for a trip through time into a world of unimaginable outcomes.

It's the most exquisite vessel I have ever seen, and I stood there admiring its craftsmanship before I continued my assault. As the sun rises and illuminates the boat's hint of golden design, depicting Osiris's ascent from Hades, my wrath has reached its zenith.

From Guest Contributor J. Iner Souster

Scissors

Who invented scissors? I have often wondered.

Something about scissors fascinates me. They give me the irresistible urge to stab something, anything. My wrist, your wrist, the baby's head. I can't help myself. I mean, I can, because I've never stabbed anything, other than the pumpkin a few Halloweens back. But I can't help the urge.

Sometimes I dream about scissors.

We don't keep any scissors in the house. My wife says they are dangerous to have lying around, especially with the baby. I don't know why she's so paranoid all the time.

It turns out the Egyptians invented scissors.