The Expedition

The expedition lasted for several weeks. The scientists carried all their own supplies, which consisted mostly of food and batteries. After week two, they set the record for deepest penetration into the Earth's surface. By that point, they had stopped trying to map the cavern, and just kept going further down.

Finally, the heat prevented them from traveling any deeper. They found a promising stalactite and began taking measurements.

"The readings are positive, sir."

Even here. It was truly hopeless then. The rise of hipsterism was complete. There was literally no place left on Earth that wasn't dripping in irony.