The Expedition

The expedition lasted for several weeks. The scientists carried all their own supplies, which consisted mostly of food and batteries. After week two, they set the record for deepest penetration into the Earth's surface. By that point, they had stopped trying to map the cavern, and just kept going further down.

Finally, the heat prevented them from traveling any deeper. They found a promising stalactite and began taking measurements.

"The readings are positive, sir."

Even here. It was truly hopeless then. The rise of hipsterism was complete. There was literally no place left on Earth that wasn't dripping in irony.

Build It And They Will Come

The majority of his days were spent in darkness, so he was startled by the flickering of light in the distance. The illumination grew stronger as it approached. He thought of running. He could only imagine that the sudden shadows cast on the wall were those of danger approaching.

The light grew to a crescendo until a man walked around the corner. He was dressed in spelunker's gear, with a headlamp shining brightly from his helmet.

"Man, you scared me. I've been working in the cave gift shop for ten months, and you're the first customer I've seen."