Crazy

"Don't call me that!"

"I didn't say you were crazy. I said this is crazy."

"I'm not crazy!"

Adrian and Eugene stared acrimoniously at each from across the bedchamber. They both understood what the other was thinking. Only one of them had a gun. Only one of them had threatened to kill themself if the other went through on their threat to leave forever.

Only one of them had contracted with a lesser demon to guarantee a lifetime spent together in mutual bliss, only to realize that bargaining with a fiend never ends well.

The whole situation really was crazy.

Wiser Now

As I listen to him lecture in the big hall surrounded by white boards full of equations, I know I can only swallow small sips from the fire hose of knowledge that flows from his mind and mouth, flooding the audience with his insight until it streams from their eyes, light filling the room and bouncing off the windows; and I must turn my mind from his most recent threat to divorce me to how it all started: a campus lawn, a daisy, the Quantum Uncertainty of petals on the subject of love─ he loves me, he loves me not.

From Guest Contributor Cheryl Snell

Buffalo Parade

The brown, mangy forelock and beard of the drum major serves as a baton for the rest of the herd despite being littered with straw. He marches forward without waiting for his retinue to follow. Their accordance is coded in.

The troop rushes forward like a flood of molasses, slow at every moment, but before we know it, we're drowning in buffalo, breathing in their musk. They pretend to ignore us as we snap photos and move as far too close. They seem more like comfortable bedding than a physical threat.

Neither group understands the true danger it is in.

Elegantly Wasted

Tom was an alcoholic. First thing every morning he made himself an extremely dry martini: straight gin, but in a martini glass to feel classy. In the evening, he put on a tuxedo and drank champagne. Not sparkling wine. The French stuff.

Tom worked downtown. He took long lunches at the club and came back to the office smelling of mint and tangerine. He was a partner, so no one ever complained. Not to his face.

Tom considered himself a functioning alcoholic.

His ex-wife and her phalanx of lawyers considered Tom a threat to harm himself and those around him.

Dirt Nap

When you say 'dirt nap' it's supposed to be frightening, right? But who doesn't love a nap? It's not menacing enough as a threat. Maybe if you said 'dirt bath' or 'death nap' or something. Then it would have a lot more weight. I mean you went through all the trouble of getting a gun and putting on that mask, and you're undercutting the effect when you mention nap.

Shit, you've shot me!

Well the last thing I'm going to be thinking about as I bleed out is a quiet nap in the dirt, and that doesn't sound so bad...