Queue For Killing Time

Mow lawn with toenail clipper; count sand. Invite spiders to tea party; pretend you’re the Mad Hatter.

Adopt imaginary twins; cry when they say their first word (“quarantine”); ransack new recipes to quiet their insatiable hunger; crank open doors and windows; demonstrate how to run fingers over wild, overgrown grass; bike them to beach; build castles, mermaids, moats; inhale salty ocean air; watch fire-red sun sink into horizon.

Lift face to pale moon and marvel, “Isn’t it crazy that there are more stars in the sky than all the grains of sand on earth?”

Time killed, savor moment without end.From Guest Contributor Michelle Wilson

Michelle’s words have appeared in 50-Word Stories, 101 Words, Literally Stories, The Miami Herald, and elsewhere. She lives in Miami Beach, Florida.

Afternoon Tea Party

“Eat this, Mom,” she said, handing me a plastic donut.

“Mmm,” I said, pretending it was delicious. I put it down and asked for more tea. Giggling, she poured air into a pink cup.

Someone pounded on the door.

The pot dropped to the table. I slid our pre-packed bag out from under the bed. She clung to me, like a baby monkey to its mother, and reached for her doll.

The door was giving in. Soon, it’d be off the hinges. I hoped we had enough time. I opened the window and my heart clenched.

The FBI waited below.

From Guest Contributor Bethany Cardwell

Moby Dick; Or, The Rabbit

Some said we merely followed orders. Others, the whims of a madman. I knew we chased a ghost.

We followed down the hole, and past that infernal tea party. We would circle around perdition's flames before he would give him up.

It was Ahab's singular obsession. To forever pursue the white rabbit that had trespassed onto his vegetable patch one autumn night so many years ago.

We heard him rant from the back of our carriage deep into the night.

"From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned rabbit."

The Mad Hatter Goes To Parliament

When the announcement was made, we took it as a joke. Surely, no one in their right mind would have voted the Mad Hatter a member of Parliament.

"You are not right in the head," proclaimed the Hatter.

"Then off with our heads," laughed the crowd.

The beheadings started soon thereafter. Tea Parties became a national affair, and the national coffers were quickly emptied to pay for wine and biscuits.

"But there is no wine and biscuits," cried the people.

"I have been turned into a scape goat," lamented the hatter.

And he produced a goat to prove his case.

King George And The Second Boston Tea Party

The Boston chapter of the Tea Party asked every newcomer to show identification. Too many liberal reporters had painted them in a bad light.

The old man was stopped at the front door. "ID please."

"I don't have any."

"Why not?"

"Because ID's are a plot by the socialist government to try and rob us of our freedom. Before you know it, they'll have us locked up in death camps."

"He's one of us."

Sweet success. First the time machine, and now this. George may not be royalty in this century, but his divine right to rule was still recognized.