Interview

“Why do you want to work here?”

I’ve been warned about this, the stupidest, trickiest interview question. Don’t say you, like all job seekers, need a paycheck to pay the rent. They don’t want reality, they want flattery. But don’t get personal. Don’t say it’s because the interviewer is charming. It must be something you like about the company, and it must be believable.

Easy! I give her the real reason I’m attracted to this place. The building is right next to a bus stop, so I won’t have to walk far in bad weather.

I don’t get the job.

From Guest Contributor R.K. West

Your Cold Heart

The damn dog wouldn't stop digging.

Bitches can't be with you if you don't scream.

I paid the bills. The rent, the cellphone, the electric.

Why weren't you on my side?

"Come with me!" I yelled.

You said, "You mean it?"

The dog stared at me, wanting an answer too.

I picked up a rock.

I usually miss, but it struck you right between the eyes.

I kept digging in the almost frozen ground.

I'm so sorry!

I guess the dog missed you as much as I did 'cause---

The dog kept digging.

I hit her right between the eyes.

From Guest Contributor E. Barnes

E has works in The Purple Pen, The Haven, Spillwords, Centina Pentina, Entropy, NanoNightmares and a collection of the works, Flash Crazy, was published in 2021 and is available on Amazon.

The Chipmunk And The Squirrel

The chipmunk that lives outside my dog’s window has been avoiding me lately. He says his name is Tony Fauci, but I don’t believe him. Today he’s hanging out with a squirrel in the front yard. The squirrel freezes like a statue when I see him. He thinks this makes him invisible because the trick works on my dog; it doesn’t work on me.

I tell Tony his rent check is late, and both Tony and the squirrel scamper away like a couple of bandits. I’m not mad, though. Tony never pays his rent. These are challenging times for everyone.

From Guest Contributor Dan Slaten

The Receipt

Monday was always wash day in Marla’s house. She sorted through the load of “darks,” mostly jeans and towels. While checking the pockets, she thought she felt a piece of paper in her husband’s jeans.

Marla found a receipt made out to her husband. It read: “Rent for the month of October 2020, paid.”

“What rent?” she thought to herself. Marla didn’t recognize the address. She began to consider the possible explanations. Was it a pied-a-terre? The more she thought about it, the angrier she became. What had the bastard done now?

Just then, her husband walked in the door.

From Guest Contributor Janice Siderius

Whose Apartment?

I rent an apartment that's above a garage.

But there's a dog who has made a home for himself in the corner.

He's without a collar

and needs a bath.

I'm polite, so I don't say anything.

But he growls as if it's his apartment!

I explain; I'm paying the rent, so really it's my apartment, so he needs to accept reality.

He dismisses my argument.

I offer him food and he eats it.

I give him a bath and he goes along with it.

Finally, he licks my face in an apparent suggestion that we become roommates.

I accept.

From Guest Contributor Kent V Anderson

When Kent isn't writing stories, he is building robots.

Contemplation And Cowardice

On an exceptionally hot evening early in July a young man came out of the garret in which he lodged in S. Place and walked slowly, as though in hesitation, towards K. bridge.

He had successfully avoided meeting his landlady on the staircase. He owed her money, and the thought of seeing the old crone--whose heavenly recommendations on judgement day will not take up much of her inquisitor's time--and hearing her bleat about the rent was enough to make him contemplate murder.

But as with most things in life, the thought was never more than a pleasant diversion.

The Daily Theme from Figment for Jan. 18, 2012Courtesy of Lev Grossman

T.S. Eliot wrote: “Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal.” It’s just as true of novelists as it is of poets. Try stealing something from a writer you like: a style that works for you, or a character you love, or a situation or a moment that really floored you. See if you can work it into your own plot. Often you’ll find that by the time you’re done, you’ve made the style or the character or the situation your own, and what started out as theft has turned into inspiration.

I stole the first two sentences from Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment, and did my best to make it my own. Obviously, Dostoevsky had a lot more space to play around with his characters.