So Hard

I was led into the room without introductions. With only twelve in my year at primary school, everyone knew everyone. But I didn’t know myself. I thought I was an astronaut.

Seeing the other two in my remedial class, I thought, Am I one of these?

They were Sharon Specs and Simple Simon. So hard accepting that I belonged in a group I’d ridiculed. Embarrassing being near them.

Months later, I was the only one needing extra classes. Then I’d discover I wasn’t really like Sharon and Simon. They were smarter.

I had to orbit Earth alone in my daydreams.

From Guest Contributor Duncan Bourne

The Special Works Unit

Jurgen was chosen at a young age to join the special works unit. This was considered an extreme honor. Only the strongest, most durable children were selected. His parents received a large stipend as a reward, and his primary school held a celebratory send-off in his honor.

Jurgen waited for the day of his departure with a mixture of excitement and dread. On the one hand, as a future member of the special works unit he was already receiving special privileges.

On the other hand, the reality was he would spend the rest of his life as a menial laborer.

Mathematical Calamity

Calamity followed him everywhere. His primary school was destroyed in a tornado. His middle school suffered an earthquake. His high school burned down in an electrical fire.

As the catastrophes mounted, journalists and theologians began looking at the pattern and noticed him at its center. They speculated he was a malevolent hell-spawn.

It wasn't until his death at the age of one hundred and seven, a four-time widower and the survivor of several plane crashes, two world wars, and the nuclear holocaust, that a mathematician finally made the proper assessment.

Ralph Warner was officially the luckiest man to ever live.