Stupid Planet Cruises

I can hardly wait. This is going to be a good one I know, another one with no faster than light speed travel. So primitive. Do you ever wonder why anyone would ever go to a smart planet? It would be just like being home in Karg. Boring. The guide to this blue and green planet says they fight and kill each other. Can you imagine something so stupid? We’d better put on armor under our earth disguise, so someone doesn’t kill us at random. We’re landing in a place called Portland Oregon where something called government impoverishes the locals.

From Guest Contributor Doug Hawley

Mother Nature Always Wins

NATURE SUBMISSION:

When you push the envelope, sometimes the envelope pushes back.

The architects and the engineers were certain that their calculations were correct. The bridge would save time and effort when driving across the sound. The financing was in place after years of wrangling. The bridge was inaugurated with great fanfare.

The Williwaw was the locals’ name for the wind that came from the north. High winds were not unusual, and the designers of the bridge had accounted for them. Mother Nature didn’t know the words “vortex shedding” or “aeroelastic flutter.” But she didn’t need words, she just needed the wind.

From Guest Contributor Janice Siderius

Irish Ned

Farming is messy! Locals cling to the old ways; Tractors and pranks pass the wet summers. Old greying Ned couldn't drive. Two young bored farmhands picked fun.

'Label the pedals,' Ned instructed. Laughing, the word 'brake' was put on the clutch and 'clutch' on the brake. After a struggle Ned called brusquely,'I'm going on the beer.' His men kindly laced the ale with castor oil. Walking like a duck Ned struggled to the gate and wasn't seen for two days.

In the field the wife cried, 'What did you do to my Neddy? The sofa and bed are ruined!'

From Guest Contributor Kerry Valkyrie Baldock Kelly