Is This What You Thought Married Life Would Be Like?

“Is this what you thought married life would be like?”

The first time Ann asked me that was at a church wedding, with me holding our three-month-old as he filled his diaper. Excrement slowly seeped down into my suit jacket sleeve.

The question was always asked facetiously: Ann’s way of finding humor in challenging situations (little league games, parent-teacher conferences, prom night). It helped. We always smiled and, sometime later, laughed.

Now, married thirty-eight years, with grandkids and happily retired, she asks me again as we sit together at dinner.

Smiling, I answer, “Oh yes...even better than I thought.”From Guest Contributor Mike Nolan

Mike is a freelance writer living happily ever after in Port Angeles, WA, USA. Mike is the author of the forthcoming memoir My Second Education, and has a web presence at mikenolanstoryteller.com.

Homer

Marjorie and her husband Herbert thought that names were important. When their first child was born, they named him Homer in hopes that some day he would be a major-league baseball player. Herbert used to laugh at the concept even while he predicted that Homer would be inspired by his suggestive name.

When Homer was three, Herbert bought him a baseball bat. Then it was Little League and high-school baseball and finally the college baseball team. Marjorie and Herbert were ecstatic; their dream was coming true.

In the end Homer majored in Classics and wrote an epic poem in Greek.

From Guest Contributor Anita G. Gorman

Sensitive Weather

It was the eve of the Little League finals. Bobby looked out his window and cursed the gathering storm clouds. He desperately wanted to pitch in tomorrow's championship.

The clouds, as all the wise men know, are temperamental. They especially don't take to being ordered about, by God or anyone else. Certainly not by thirteen-year-old boys.

When Bobby woke up the next morning, the clouds were no longer in the sky. They were stuffed into his bedroom. They chased him about for the rest of the week until he finally apologized.

"Next time, don't be so mean," the clouds insisted.