After The Verdict

“Mr. Bromley, before I sentence you, do you have anything to say to this Court?”

“I'm innocent, Your Honor.”

“I meant anything more than that nonsense. You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers. You understand, don't you?”

“I think I would've done better with a different lawyer.”

“By the way...Why did you choose your brother-in-law, Mr. Bromley?”

“Because, Your Honor, my sister-in-law cost a lot more. But I tell you, I'm innocent.”

“I told you to stop saying that.”

“Your Honor...”

“Yes...”

“Maybe if I'd offered a better bribe? Would that have made all the difference?”

From Guest Contributor David Sydney

Legal

January 18, Jack told his wife Jan that she had gained a few pounds. Why couldn’t she be skinny like her younger sister Jean? February 10, he stayed out until after 2AM, came home drunk and drove the car into the garage. March 3, Jan found her sister in bed with Jack. The jury of twelve women ruled Jack’s death justifiable homicide on December 2. Five days later Jan married her brilliant lawyer, Frank Webster. When asked what he was doing, Frank said “Sure she’s a murderer, but look at that body. Anyway, now I know what not to do.”

From Guest Contributor Doug Hawley

The little old man has published four hundred or so things in the UK, USA, Canada, Iran, Germany, Australia, the Netherlands, India, and Spain without ever exhibiting any skill or ability. https://sites.google.com/site/aberrantword/

I Cannot Agree

It's been a difficult trial.

The jury presents a guilty verdict.

I cannot agree with this jury. So, I tell them, “Members of the jury, in light of my 20 years of judicial experience, I find there is no evidence the defendant was near the crime scene, nor even knew the victim. Therefore, I declare the evidence insufficient to convict and hereby overturn the guilty verdict. Bailiff, release the prisoner.”

The courtroom is aghast.

I sit back down.

The judge says, “Well, Mr. Kaufman, now I'm sorry I asked if the defendant had anything to say. Bailiff, remove the prisoner.”

From Guest Contributor Kent V. Anderson

When Kent isn't writing stories, he is building robots.

Whispers

Caspar would hear the whispers as soon as he closed his eyes. At first they seemed related to his dreams, but gradually they became detached, having nothing to do with his REM cycles.

The whispers were not kind. They commanded him to murder his family. Caspar wanted to ignore them, but as their stridency increased, he eventually relented.

When the police found him covered in blood and surrounded by corpses, Caspar claimed that it was God who was whispering to him. The jury agreed, and he was eventually set free.

You see, God was whispering to the jurors as well.