Old Man

I’ve been coming to this park for months. Today an elderly man I’ve never seen before wearing tan khaki pants that are too long, sits next to me.

“Beautiful morning, I’ve been coming here since I was a boy. I still remember the fruit stand that used to be across the street on the corner. Best oranges I ever tasted.”

Just having lost my job, I’m not in the mood for conversation and leave. Then I realized I forgot my cell phone on the bench.

When I return, the man is gone, and an orange sits next to my phone.From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

The Man Who Loved Bears

Bob was excited. His new coworkers had planned a birthday surprise. It was slightly strange they'd gone through the trouble of learning what he liked, blindfolding him, and driving him to a secret location when he'd only joined the team two weeks ago, but he he'd taken the job because of their excellent HR record. He was already impressed by their enthusiasm for team building activities.

"Okay, you can remove your blindfold."

Adjusting his eyes to the light, Bob jumped in terror. He was locked in a cage with a massive grizzly bear.

"I said I liked beer, not bears!"

Surprise Party

When I entered the restaurant with Kate, I scanned the room as everyone yelled surprise. I was stunned and stood motionless. Family and friends gathered around waiting to hug the fifty-year-old birthday boy. Balloons of different colors filled the room and small beer bottle opener party favors laid perfectly next to each place setting.

“So, honey, were you surprised?”

“Yes, and then some,” I kissed her softly on the lips.

Everyone yelled speech, speech, so I raised my glass. Before I could get any words out, I thought of how I would tell my wife I just lost my job.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

Interview

“Why do you want to work here?”

I’ve been warned about this, the stupidest, trickiest interview question. Don’t say you, like all job seekers, need a paycheck to pay the rent. They don’t want reality, they want flattery. But don’t get personal. Don’t say it’s because the interviewer is charming. It must be something you like about the company, and it must be believable.

Easy! I give her the real reason I’m attracted to this place. The building is right next to a bus stop, so I won’t have to walk far in bad weather.

I don’t get the job.

From Guest Contributor R.K. West

Guardian Angel

Hank takes his job seriously. He clocks in every day on time, and stays exactly how long is required of him. So what if he never volunteers for overtime? There are plenty of colleagues eager to cover for him.

Hank never drinks to excess while on duty. Sure he may get a little tipsy on occasion, but not to the detriment of his charges, who remain his top priority. If anything, drinking in moderation calms his nerves and makes him more effective at angeling.

Yes, he sometimes parties with some friendly devils, but he's trying to convince them to repent.

When I Get To Heaven

The dust stuck to everything, even my sweat. The heat wasn't as dry as everyone said. I'd be happy when this job was over and I could head back to the city.

The pay had been too good to say no. Five thousand bucks for a single target. I assumed there would be catch.

The catch was the location. Heaven, a town I'd never heard of, found just a few miles down from the edge of absolutely fucking nowhere.

If I wasn't headed to heaven to kill a man, I'd have assumed I was the one who was already dead.

Paul Revere

"One if by land, two if by sea." Paul Revere finished typing the phrase--destined to be famous--into his cell phone and hit send. His job was done. It would now be up to his fellow revolutionaries to spread the word of the impending invasion and prepare for the British arrival in Concord. Whichever route they chose, the Americans would be ready.

Revere was free to relax and enjoy his fruity umbrella drink next to the pool. He reflected on how when historians wrote about his story many decades from now, they'd almost certainly get many of the incidental details wrong.

Ghastly Ghosts

When I took the cashier job, it wasn’t explained to me that I’d be working with the supernatural. I didn’t abhor spirits, but those ghastly ghosts were frustrating. When I’d enter an amount in the computer, it deleted, and the customers would get angry at the slow checkout. So, I had another chat with the boss, and he told me he dealt with it, and if I couldn’t, then I should quit.

The next day, a sign on the door read: “STORE CLOSED DUE TO PESTS.” When I looked through the window, boxes of ant traps danced in the aisles.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

The Right Thing

When I stepped into the cold of the night, the wind against my face, there wasn’t a soul in sight. I walked the streets in desperate need of an answer. Those files I found would ruin the company and probably cost me my job but inevitably save lives. I wish I hadn’t come across those documents. At least I wouldn’t have insomnia.

After what seemed like hours, I had an idea. I’d go in tomorrow as if nothing happened. No one would suspect a hard working every-day man like me would do what I decided.

And that’s the right thing.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

Friend Of The Devil

Satan ruled Hell with a malevolent thirst for pain and suffering, visiting the worst horrors imaginable upon all who entered his realm.

Bob was Satan's best friend. Bob defended Satan to anyone who would listen. Just because he had an important job to do, and that job was not all together pleasant, doesn't mean Satan was a bad guy. Don't confuse the uniform with the man. This was one of Bob's favorite sayings.

Those poor souls who suffered a Groundhog's Day repetition of never-ending torments hated Bob even more because he stuck up for Satan.

But that's what friends do.