Irony

I’m very excited to announce the winner of our Hubris Flash Fiction Contest, from regular contributor Lisa Scuderi-Burkimsher. I hope that winning doesn't go to her head!

Congratulations Lisa! And thank you to everyone who submitted to the contest. It was difficult picking just one.Bill combed his hair, gave a thumbs up to his reflection in the mirror and then left.

He walked with a swagger and passing bystanders cussed him.

“It’s a pandemic, wear a mask, idiot,” yelled an irate man from across the street.

Bill flipped him the finger and continued.

When he arrived at his cousin's barbecue, he was stopped at the back gate.

“You can’t come in here without a mask,” said his cousin, Mark.

“Come on, man, I never get sick.”

Mark slammed the gate in his face.

Bill stood for a moment before walking away and then sneezed.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

The Untimely Demise Of Adrian Perez

HUBRIS CONTEST:

Joe, doing his best to hide the fear bubbling up from within, kicked dirt from the mound as the next batter sauntered to the plate. This was Adrian Perez, MVP, future Hall-Of-Famer, and the best home run hitter alive.

Ninth inning. Bases loaded. Two outs. Clinging to a one-run lead.

Before Perez entered the batter's box, he did the unthinkable. He pointed towards the outfield, confirming what everyone already knew about the ball's final destination. Joe winced at the shame that was sure to follow.

Nobody was more surprised than Joe Flack when Perez hit a soft grounder to first.

From Guest Contributor Bill Kern

The Botanist

HUBRIS CONTEST:

Settled at the picnic table, I was teaching my three-year old granddaughter, Natalie, the process of planting seeds. Surrounded by supplies: seeds, cardboard egg cartons, a bag of soil, a big spoon and a spray bottle filled with water, Natalie carefully filled each section of the egg carton with soil. All the while I explained to her how seeds grow into plants if they have sun, water and food. I believed that she thoroughly understood. She was seriously working.

Grandpa joined us and asked, “What are you doing?”

“We are growing eggs!” Natalie boasted.

I’d better wait till she’s four.

From Guest Contributor Patricia Gable

Rags To Riches And Back

HUBRIS CONTEST:

Mr. X fell. How badly?

Initially, he didn’t know. He continued contriving grandiose schemes. To deceive and conquer. Gain at the loss of others.

Friends he once had dwindled to one. They witnessed him gloating. How he went from rags to riches, increasing net worth “like no one else.”

Until the world sank into monetary collapse.

His temper shot up. Those he benefited from abandoned positions of his corporate ladder. He maintained headstrong in his quest of greatness, overriding those needing assistance.

Indeed, Mr. X fell. Sad thing, he had no clue how to rise.

Nor do others marked ‘X.’

From Guest Contributor Krystyna Fedosejevs

On Being A Man

HUBRIS CONTEST:

His backhand caused her body to pirouette grotesquely before landing face down on the coffee table.

Wincing, she rolled off the table, and sat up, mopping blood futilely from her mouth with the back of her right hand.

“Aren’t ya proud o’ me, workin’ all night?” he whined.

Unblinking, she nodded.

Then, the boy, who’d learned what a man was from his father, brought the cast iron pan onto the back of his father’s head with a sound like a loud wet kiss.

The man slid to the ground gracefully.

Beaming at her son, she said, “Now that’s a man!”

From Guest Contributor Jody Lehrer

Swimming Sterility

HUBRIS CONTEST:

I’m a fish, except I swim between kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom.

I sterilize, wash, wipe, dry. Watch episodes of Barry and Curb Your Enthusiasm, semblances of entertainment before the virus.

I’m swimming in sterile fishbowls.

Some nights, I open windows. I absorb tree branches shifting, the tenderness of a fleeting breeze. I absorb the thump of distant speakers. Wear widened eagerness, an expression I thought I suppressed.

Some nights, I try to step out among bars, laughter, bodies.

Some nights I make it a block. Two, even.

But I retreat. Wide eyes sink into submission.

Brave fish are always doomed.From Guest Contributor Yash Seyedbagheri

Yash is a graduate of Colorado State University's MFA program in fiction. A native of Idaho, Yash’s work is forthcoming or has been published in WestWard Quarterly, Café Lit, and Ariel Chart, among others.

Let's Stay Focused On The Good News

HUBRIS CONTEST:

Gerald raced home, test in hand, too excited to look both ways as he crossed intersections. There was never any traffic anyway, and this news was too good to wait. He only paused at one point to pick up the books that had scattered on the sidewalk behind him because he'd forgotten to zip closed his backpack.

He sprinted up his driveway and burst through the front door.

"I am the GOAT!!!" He threw the paper towards his mother, who looked up in bewilderment.

"A B+ on your English exam. I'm proud of you. Now what about your math quiz?"

From Guest Contributor Breanne Nyhoff

The Truth And Nothing But The Truth

HUBRIS CONTEST

At a young age, Bjorn swore he would never tell another lie. For others, this might have been a quickly forgotten boast, but for him it was the mantra he would forever live by.

In the beginning, it was relatively easy to always tell the truth. But gradually he found that being honest frequently hurt the feelings of those closest to him. He began to meticulously avoid human connection, because this way he would never have to disappoint anyone by telling them how he really felt.

What had initially seemed like a valiant choice eventually became Bjorn's life long curse.

From Guest Contributor Gil Anders

Jack’s Undoing

HUBRIS CONTEST

Jack had it all: six luxurious homes, expensive cars, a private plane, and a trophy wife. Like many trust-fund babies, he had grown up with few responsibilities and many advantages, including a degree from Yale. Unfortunately, for Jack, he did not grow up with a sense of ethics or basic moral values.

The FBI stormed through the front door of his New York apartment at six in the morning.“We have a warrant for your arrest. The charge is transporting wealthy, inadmissible aliens into the USA.”

Jack rolled his eyes. Don’t these people realize my connections? He called his lawyer.

From Guest Contributor Janice Siderius

Helicopter Parenting

HUBRIS CONTEST:

Malcolm was the victim of helicopter parenting. Literally. He didn't drive to school, he flew. His mother and father, both victims of neglect and recrimination growing up, had overachieved as adults so that they could protect their own child from such abuses. This meant sheltering Malcolm from all criticisms, never allowing him to fail or even fall short in anything he did.

When he inherited the family business, he was both horribly unqualified to run a company and incapable of conceiving of the possibility of failure. Thanks however to his tremendous hubris, the company continued to thrive under his direction.

From Guest Contributor Mindy Storr