Sledgehammer

Bill had never been so in love. Kristen was to a woman like a sledgehammer is to a hammer. He was grateful that she felt the same way.

He proposed after six months of dating. She said yes. Everyone that knew them said after the first time seeing them together that they were perfect for each other.

They decided to write their own vows. Kristin told a story about telling her grandmother right before she died she'd just met the man she was going to marry. Bill told the sledgehammer analogy.

That's when she realized they were making a mistake.

And That's That

“How are you really, dear?”

“I’m fine.”

“Sweetheart, you can tell me.”

“I am telling you. I’m just fine.”

“Are you getting out?”

“I’m out right now.”

“With someone.”

“I’m here with you.”

“A man! Are you seeing anyone?”

“I see a lot of men, mother. I’m not dating anyone, if that’s what you want to know”.

“What about that nice young man…”

“He’s married.”

“Oh.”

“You know, mom, I met this wonderful sixty-year-old man.”

“Oh, darling, sixty?”.

“He’s perfect. He’s dying to get laid.”

“JENNIFER!”

“I gave him your number. Have you had the chicken salad here?”

From Guest Contributor Jean Blasiar

Second Date

Let me tell you about being single again and dating.

I meet remarkable women.

Non-smokers who chain smoke; social drinkers being borderline alcoholics.

When we talk on the phone, without exception, they’re all size 10-12. We arrange to meet.

The old joke goes, the women in our town are size 24, size 26, size 28, and then there are the big fat ones!

Seems to me it’s true.

They get offended when I say, “You deceived me,” and ask why I say so on our first date. I mean, why would anyone wait til the second date to speak up?

From Guest Contributor Barry O'Farrell

Barry is an actor living in Brisbane, Australia. Other stories by Barry have appeared in Cyclamens & Swords, 50-Word Stories, and of course here at A Story In 100 Words.