Hybrid Children Lunchables

Bio Lab meat? Are you eating your Uncle Fester’s cancer DNA? Bio lab fish genes are spliced with cancer to create a quick-growing mermaid that is evil. Hybrid children being eaten by everyone in this realm. Shame on evil. Bio Lab meat with chicken? Did you eat chicken man? Or a cow and human? Did you eat a Minotaur?? Who is speaking for the Hybrid children of this realm? Did Orc originate from a hybrid pig human escaping a bio lab meat factory? Did you eat your own flesh today in this weird reality where the law says it's okay?

From Guest Contributor Clinton Siegle

Loss Of Self

I shouldn’t have fallen for the marketing (“You’re never alone with a clone!”), but I did. I saved up, sent my DNA sample to PeopleMakers, and a week later there was a knock on the door. He was perfect: sympathetic, interested in all my hobbies, and with all my tastes in clothes and women and jokes.

When I couldn’t afford to renew the subscription, though, he walked out of my life just as easily and quietly as he’d arrived, leaving me alone and even more achingly aware of what I didn’t have. Where am I now when I need me?

From Guest Contributor Alastair Millar

Alastair is an archaeologist by training, a translator by trade, and a nerd by nature. His published flash and micro fiction can be found here and he lurks on Twitter @skriptorium.

What Family?

When I sat at my one-hundred-year-old mother’s bedside, she told me I was adopted, that she couldn’t die without telling me. I’m seventy-three years old, what was the point when no family was left to answer my questions?

I did a DNA test, and thought--what have I done?

An e-mail appeared in my DNA account from Tom, who said he was a cousin. My parents were illiterate, poor and didn’t know they signed me away permanently.

Tom explained I was a victim of the Tennessee orphanage scandal, along with many victims.

I deleted my account and never looked back.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

Data Dada

I walked for eight months, following a man who was carrying books on a donkey. I thought of it as my way of creating memories and putting them in my diary, except I don’t have a diary. So, yes, it’s ironic. Now as I go around the city, I see cigarette butts and chewing gum on the pavement, and people clipping their fingernails in the subway. I mean, who would do that, leave their DNA all over the place for others to collect and store? It’s like the secret to keeping a secret is the only secret still being kept.

From Guest Contributor Howie Good

Howie is the author most recently of What It Is and How to Use It from Grey Book Press. He co-edits the journals Unbroken and UnLost.

Betrayed

Leo squeezed Hayden’s neck. Slowly the life began to leave her body as her eyes widened and face reddened.

“You slept with him, you damn witch!” Leo squeezed harder banging Hayden’s head against the wall until she collapsed with a thump, her dead eyes staring blankly at him. Leo released his grip and took a deep breath wiping the sweat off his face with the back of his hand.

Leo wiped down every trace of his finger prints and DNA. He put the gloves in his pocket and left Hayden’s house intent on finding the man she left him for.

From Guest Contributor Lisa Scuderi-Burkimsher

The Setup

Purple marks stained the ivory flesh of the young victim's neck. DNA forensic technicians hustled around her with their swabs and evidence bottles.

My partner Isobel raised an eyebrow in an unspoken question.

"DNA will confirm it, but it's him."

Isobel sucked in a breath. "Adam Knowles. Been killing ten years, but not a hint of where he is."

I knew where he was. Twelve years since I killed him and placed a sample of my DNA labelled with his name in the database.

The victim's final screams played in my memory as I, Detective Richard Morrison, guided the investigation.

From Guest Contributor Ross Clement

The Discovery

Professor Viterbi puffed up like an overripe seed pod, ready to shower his discovery all over the conference delegates in their seats.

"We have discovered a species with left handed DNA. This means life on Earth started not just once, but two or more times."

The delegates' jaws dropped; mouths like pitcher plants waiting for further details to fall in.

"This organism has been in front of our noses all the time. The common toenail fungus."

Half the delegates gave Professor Viterbi a standing ovation. The other half removed their shoes and socks, and stared at their toes in wonder.

From Guest Contributor Ross Clement

End Of Dr. Palmer

Dr. Palmer, geneticist, realized one day that of all the animals, no one had yet thought to sequence a dog's genome. He therefore gathered his team and immediately set to work.

Dr. Palmer quickly discovered there was something wrong with dog DNA. They didn't have any. Every dog he tested was composed of completely foreign protein sequences. Palmer concluded they had been planted here by an alien civilization to observe Earthlings.

End of Dr. Palmer.

Several years later, Dr. Robinson, geneticist, realized one morning that none of his colleagues in the field had ever bothered to sequence the dog's genome.

He Was Born Without Fingerprints

He was born without fingerprints. He naturally grew up to become a cat burglar. He never wore gloves. He was able to crawl in and out of the tiniest spaces, mostly because of his lack of fingerprints.

They called him "El Gado." He wasn't Spanish, but he liked the name. He thought it made him sound sophisticated. Even though he was the greatest cat burglar in history, he did not feel very accomplished. It just happened that he was born without fingerprints.

He was eventually arrested. He had failed to keep up to date on the latest in DNA technology.

Eye Witness

Sarah watched the invasion passively, from the same armchair she watched TV. The bugs were large, maybe the size of a Volkswagen, but that might have been her perspective. They couldn't have been that big. Her memory was exaggerating.

They were shovel-shaped and had what looked like a hard, chitinous substance as armor. They were crawling up and down the building across the street, consuming the structure in their giant mandibles.

Sarah supposed that some scientist would win a Nobel prize for decoding their DNA or anatomic structure. She would look forward to watching the documentary on the nature channel.