Jealousy As An Occupation

Lisa has a hard time explaining her job. To be fair, she might have a harder time believing it herself.

"People hire me to be jealous of them. Sometimes I write a bunch of comments on their socials saying how I wish I could be more like them. Or I might burst in on a client while he's on a date begging for him to take me back because he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's a great boost to their self-esteem."

"And they pay you for this?"

"I'm really good at wishing I were someone else."

#Blemished

The comments hit hard. @keybrdwar58 wrote “Pepperoni face.” Certified rage baiter @uplinegeek’s “Wear a mask” got fifteen likes, zero from me. Ouch! Why did @soyzgalz comment “Get a life” just because I asked for advice? @vawaxayaz replied “Boomer talk.” Merci @vawaxayaz. She’s a skinfluencer. Now if she could please give me a follow back. Maybe she’ll ghost me. If she’s not a pretty deepfake bot, bet she uses AI-smooth filters. Like who doesn’t? Anyway, this is the last time I’ll ask for derma advice on Insta. Gotta have thick skin. Girls with thick skin don’t get pimples. There’s my problem.

From Guest Contributor Elizabeth Murphy

The Engineers Play Chess

Christos and Lieberman, veteran development engineers, played chess every lunch hour. Watson, a young engineer, joined the project, watched them play and immediately starting making unwanted comments. They put up with him for two weeks.

One day Christos briefly studied the board, then moved Knight to F4.

"That's a strange move," Watson commented.

Lieberman immediately moved rook to H6.

"That doesn't make sense. What did you do that for?" Watson demanded.

The two chess players said nothing, just stared at him.

"OK, I'm leaving," Watson finally said.

"Check," said Christos and reset his pieces.

"Mate," Lieberman added and did likewise.

From Guest Contributor Ronald Larsen

Commenting Problem Fixed

Hi,

I've been struggling with my comment plugin for a while. I'd set up Disqus comments, but they got disabled and I finally gave up on fixing it and reverted to the default commenting system.

I just created a new Disqus login and it seems to be working again. Hopefully this fixes the problem and I hope it fosters more commenting/discussion on the site. We have a lot of great writers contributing stories every week and it would be nice to foster more of a community, especially since we have writers from all over the world.

Cheers, and keep writing.

Dysfunction 3

“Some days you just can’t write,” he said aloud.

The citrus-scented candle was not impressed. The flame didn’t even react to his big sigh. It sat on the side table oozing atmosphere but no empathy.

“Oh yeah?” he snapped at it. “When you’re burnt out that’s the end of you. I prevail.”

Hiatus… Odd looks in his direction and muttered comments from bar patrons fused as he tried to blink his tired eyes clear. In the bright honey light, they became drones attending the queen behind the counter: alkaloid aromas their insectoid murmurs of my intrusion.

The page remained blank.

From Guest Contributor Perry McDaid