I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

It's been three months since you died, but it could have been three days or three years. This time, this forever after, is something separate from our former life. Some people thought you a burden, but I was a volunteer, an eager one at that.

Life with you was never a burden. You provided clarity. Companionship. Purpose. The meaning of selflessness.

Now, this existence, this is the burden. Having to live without you is the burden. Not because this life is bad. But because your absence overwhelms even the best moments.

You are the best friend I will ever have.

The Dreaming Man

Calvin approached every situation with the same primary assumption: he was dreaming.

This outlook freed him from the tethers of reality. He lived with a complete disregard for consequence only the dreaming man could fully fathom. It lent his existence a sort of Buddhist clarity, in which only the current moment mattered. He possessed at all times a tremendous sense of self-possession and lucidity, while remaining entirely divorced from the trivial concerns of everyday society.

Now that he had been sentenced to forty-five years to life for first-degree murder, this mindset would be even more of a refuge moving forward.

My First Lie

My stepfather had Parkinson’s disease. Before he died, he was one percent of the person he had been. It’s cruel to say that at fifty percent he was a kinder person.

I found him once, on his back, like an upturned ladybird in the garden. I was now a stranger. I helped him up and in a moment of rare clarity, he asked, "When will this end?" He was all ears, his face ready enlightenment.

I lied to him once. It was my first ever real lie. “Soon,” I said.

Four years on, at his funeral my lie became true.

From Guest Contributor Alice Kibbe