So It Goes

A brave man killed a monster. He became a hero and was celebrated. He married a princess and eventually became a king. He had many children. Then he died.

An unlucky man was born poor. He made an unfortunate bargain and was cursed. He turned into a horrible monster, was shunned by society. Eventually a man came along and killed the unlucky man.

A unremarkable man lived an unremarkable life. He had good times. He had bad times. He died an unremarkable death.

A thoughtful man spent his entire life trying to make sense of it all. Then he died.

The Antiques Show

"Excuse me, do you work here?"

"Yes, I do."

"I would like some information."

"How can I help you?"

"What are these?"

"Drumsticks."

"I mean, why are these five times more expensive than new ones? This is a second-hand store, no?"

"Ah! That's because Led Zeppelin's Jon Bonham used these sticks while recording ‘Stairway to Heaven’."

"If I understand correctly, this is actually a bargain..."

"I think so too."

"Can you pack them for me?"

"Of course. But if you have a moment, I also have the guitar pick here somewhere Jimi Hendrix played with at Woodstock."

"Do you really?"From Guest Contributor Hervé Suys

Hervé (°1968 – Ronse, Belgium) started writing short stories whilst recovering from a sports injury and he hasn’t stopped since. Generally he writes them hatless and barefooted.

Garage Sale Books And Modern Lovers

Barbara poked around the stack of discarded books, hoping this would be their last sale for the day. What joy Joseph derived from driving across the city scouring garages for bargain antiques eluded her. She'd tolerated the pastime for three months now, but a quaint second date now had the hallmarks of a compulsive hobby.

Maybe she would end it with Joseph tonight after dinner.

Barbara picked up a battered copy of The Farewell Waltz, one of the only Kundera novels she had not yet read.

"How much?"

Two dollars seemed like a price well paid for such appropriate symbolism.

Continued Phallic Stage

Clifford consulted his companion Coleman before Clifford’s penis-extending surgery.

Clifford: I’ll be courteous to Doctor Coen. A Clip Magazine column confirms kindness cultivates better care.

Coleman: Christ you’re crazy!

Clifford: You conclude I should be cruel? Then Doc Coen might compress it! Conceivably I could court him with chocolates.

Coleman: Chocolates, come again? No I connoted you’re crazy for continuing this claptrap! Doesn’t Corrina care?

Clifford: Corrina isn’t cognizant. It’s my wedding gift, conjointly with a card.

Coleman: You didn’t consider recovery?

Clifford: It’s worth the cost of this bargain!

Coleman: I mean, can you consummate afterwards?

Clifford: Yes…thanks, Cialis!

From Guest Contributor Benjamin Rubenstein