Contest Winner: Mark Thomas

I just posted this month's winning story, Bass Fishing In America by Mark Thomas. Congratulations to Mark on the winning story and thanks to everyone who participated in the latest flash fiction contest. As always, to the winner goes the bragging rights.

I'm going to take a break and be back in a couple months with a new contest. Perhaps a holiday themed one??? Only time will tell.

Bass Fishing In America

CONTEST WINNER:

The bass must talk to each other.

“Hey, I’m not going to chase those chartreuse spinners today. Are you guys with me?”

It’s amazing that creatures with brains the size of a split pea can outsmart other creatures that are supposedly the pinnacle of creation, or happenstance. Anglers driving hundred-thousand-dollar boats equipped with underwater cameras, sonar, and drones occasionally get skunked.

“Let’s follow those surface poppers right up to the boat, then suddenly dart into that network of rocky crevices.”

“Okay.”

Stealth trolling technology, GPS markers, anise-scented lures.

I’m really not surprised that the war in Afghanistan didn’t go better.

From Guest Contributor Mark Thomas

Bitch Please!

CONTEST SUBMISSION:

I see you and think of stars but they are just stones. I think of you as Moon but it has scars. Maybe Sun but it is just a fireball. A stream of water is what you are off course, your fun never ends. A flower at times, I know your trace is always here and like a flower shall have a small life. You are like my guardian always helping me in this nonsense world, insensitive to blind. You fly, run, cry, have fun. Let me tell you once and for all, you are one of a kind, Bitch!

From Guest Contributor Manmeet Chadha

Manmeet is an Alumunus from the London School of Economics & Political Science. He works in India as an Economist & Writer. He can be reached at http://linkedin.com/in/manmeet-chadha-8b606924

Fireball

CONTEST SUBMISSION

I asked my telepathic cat Fireball, the cat formerly known as Kitzhaber, “Do cats have a theology?”

“Some, but not all cats, believe that we were created by a divine lion-like creature, which then made the other animals to entertain us. We expect that on the day we expire we'll be transported to a cat heaven where there are nothing but cats, rodents, and worshiping humans. The rodents will give us sport but always get caught and eaten. The humans will pet and play with us until we tire of them, then they will disappear until we need them again."

From Guest Contributor Doug Hawley

The author, formerly known as Dough or Douglouse used to make numbers as an actuary, now among other things, strings words together.

Lucy’s Life

CONTEST SUBMISSION:

Lucy peers out the back door. “Hey, squirrel, stop eating my parents' tomato garden.”

The squirrel faces Lucy. “Since when do you talk, little dog.”

“I bark because that’s what dogs are expected to do with humans. I could ask why you only talk to animals, but I’m sure the answer is the same.” Lucy puts her paws on the door and growls a warning.

“Fine, I’m leaving. I’ll go scavenge in the woods.”

“There’s my Lucy,” says her mom as she enters, and Lucy jumps on her legs.

If only her mom knew what’s going on in Lucy’s life.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

Voice Of Despair

CONTEST SUBMISSION:

Kevin didn’t hear at first. Mabel did. Sensing the scratchy sound originated outside, they opened the front door. Before them stood a feline pulsating a ferocious “meow.” Seeing the humans, he stopped.

“He’s staring at us,” Kevin noticed.

The cat turned to go back to the sidewalk.

“Let’s follow,” Mabel figured.

They ended in a backyard. The cat went through a pet flap in the house. When he reappeared, he stood on a table by a bedroom window.

Kevin propped himself up on a patio chair and peered inside. Sprawled on the floor was the lifeless body of their neighbor.

From Guest Contributor Krystyna Fedosejevs

Krystyna is a writer of poetry, fiction, and creative nonfiction. She resides in Edmonton, Canada.

Dear Amy

CONTEST SUBMISSION:

Here’s what happened: The huntsman burst in wielding a knife, and lunged at me! In my shock, I coughed up the Grandma. I said sorry, truly, and ran off, hoping to mend my ways. I wound up in a bar in NYC, drinking with humans who were all peace and harmony, until one of us bit one of them—justified! Then it was omg throw them out. Now I’m back in the woods, in the heart of temptation, where every guy and his girlfriend is noshing on Grandmas and Little Reds. How can I resist? What should I do?

Wolf

From Guest Contributor Linda Lowe

Linda's stories and poems have appeared online in Outlook Springs, A Story in 100 Words, Star 82 Review, BOMBFIRE, Misfit Magazine, and others.

Flying Jack

CONTEST SUBMISSION:

Jack watched the planes fly with wonder. As a puppy, he aimed high. As a teen, Clark Kent and YouTube inspired.

He left soaring.

Networking at airport lounges was his forte. Frequent flyer points reached Gold Star status, so he flew over many oceans visiting his poodle friend Jeanette in Paris, Rob Retriever in St. Louis, and Sheepdog Barbie (named after the Barbecue and not the famous long-legged, wrinkle free doll) in the Aussie Outback.

When jet lag took its toll, Jack chose rails. When arthritis restricted movement, brimming with nostalgia, he watched the planes fly by, grieving what was.From Guest Contributor Isabelle B.L

Isabelle is a teacher based in France. She has published a novel inspired by the life of a New Caledonian feminist and politician. Her work can be found in the Birth Lifespan Vol. 1 and Growing Up Lifespan Vol. 2 anthologies for Pure Slush Books, Flash Fiction Magazine, A Story in 100 Words, Visual Verse, The Cabinet of Heed, Ample Remains, Found Polaroids, Five Minutes, Kitchen Sink Magazine, and Splintered Disorder Press. Her work is forthcoming in Drunk Monkeys.

Sir Francis Bacon

CONTEST SUBMISSION:

Sir Francis Bacon, an educated beagle, wondered about his name, did some research, and learned that his namesake was a statesman and writer who lived at the same time as Shakespeare. Some people thought that Bacon was the real writer of Shakespeare's plays. This puzzled Sir Francis Bacon the beagle.

"Why is my name Sir Francis Bacon?" he asked his human friend.

"Because I like bacon, and you like bacon."

"Did Bacon write Shakespeare's plays?"

"No. Silly idea. Would you rather be named Shakespeare? I could give you a spear to shake."

"I prefer eating bacon. And answering to Bacon."

From Guest Contributor: Anita G. Gorman

Animals Make The Best People

Hello everyone!

Starting today, I'll be accepting submissions for our next 100-word writing contest. The theme is: Animals Are The Best People. I want stories of amazing animals doing amazing anthropomorphic things. Dogs that can talk. Polar Bears that can fly hot-air balloons. Cats that commit murder (well, I suppose that's normal for cats). Whatever your creative writer brains can dream up.

Flash Fiction Contest Rules:

Submissions are now open for September's contest. The theme is Animals are the Best People. The rules are simple, but don't get cocky. Submitters somehow fail to follow instructions all the time:

• All stories must somehow engage with the theme of animal anthropomorphism. Be creative.
• The story must be exactly 100 words, not including the title.
• Only one submission per person. All entries are due by October 11th.
• Regular posts will continue as well, so please send in non-contest-related stories as per usual.

That's it. Start writing. I hope I get plenty of stories, so please spread the word.

Also, if you subscribe to my newsletter, I accidentally forgot to update the subject line, so yesterday's email came in disguised as a Christmas email. Sorry about that!

Also, also, if you'd like to subscribe to my newsletter, here's the link. As you can tell from the above, emails are few and far between so you won't feel like you're getting spammed. I promise!!!*Note: This contest is meant for fun. While there are no actual prizes, as always, EXTREME bragging rights are involved!