Don't Talk To Me About Love Spells

Everyone knows when it comes to doing magic, widows are the worst. They're always going on about love spells or hunting down unicorns and mermaids to achieve eternal youth. None of it ever works.

You might consider my complaints a narrow-minded view and accuse me of the worst kind of chauvinism. I agree with you whole-heartedly that gender prejudice has no place in our enlightened age. But the fact is that widows just aren't any good at magic. Even when it works, it doesn't work anything like how it's intended.

And that's how I ended up with these golden testes.