Lost At Sea

Raul's father was reported lost at sea soon after his son was born. When he turned thirteen, Raul set out to sea himself, determined to bring his father home.

After searching for many years, he found his father on a tropical island in the South Pacific. Despite his son's pleading, the old man refused to leave.

Raul finally returned home empty-handed and told his mother the bad news. Only then did his mother admit that his father was not Captain Joseph Blighy, the famous Sea Adventurer, but Old Joe, the homeless crack addict who roamed the neighborhood begging for handouts.

The Morning Edition

Morgan Durante always dreaded reading the morning paper. The headlines were of the normally sensationalist variety, with one important caveat: this edition of the news only covered Morgan and his life.

Typical headlines read, "Durante wastes another day of worthless life at meaningless job," and "Father does awful job parenting his gifted child." The people quoted were usually his wife or an "Unnamed source with intimate knowledge of the Durante family."

Morgan would have liked to stop subscribing, but it was written by his ten-year-old daughter and his wife insisted they encourage her talent. Besides, the reporting was always accurate.

Genie: The Musical

So Naomi found this old lamp in the attic. When she was cleaning it off, a genie appeared and granted her one wish. Before anyone could stop her, she wishes for her life to become just like in a musical.

That's all well and good for her. She's married to a handsome tenor (though I reckon he's probably gay) and every dramatic moment in her life gets played out in song form.

I, on the other hand, never get to say (or sing) anything. I'm just the guy in the back trying to keep time during all the dance numbers.

Berries

We hit a fork in the road after about ten miles. She looked at me with a half-crescent smile but I pretended I didn’t notice. I just kept lookin’ forward, as if I knew somethin’ important was coming my way. But it wasn’t; I knew that. I knew we’d probably make a wrong turn and be walkin’ here for ten more miles. She ate the raspberries and licked her fingers and giggled. We’d been walking all day and all she could think about were her damn berries. Her hair smelled nice. Your hair smells nice, I told her. She knew.

From Guest Contributor Cara E. Schulte

The Interminable Gecko

At nine years old, every child in the land of Baywater was befriended by a talking animal that served as a guardian. On the eve of their birthdays, the children would wait with eager anticipation to meet their new companions, always hoping they would get one of the cooler animals, like a tiger or dinosaur.

So it was that Stevie Jackson was slightly disappointed to learn his spirit animal would be a gecko. It was especially annoying as it loudly chirped "gecko" in his ear all night long.

At least it would scare away all the girls in his class.

The Conquering Heroes

Viking raiders would return from their numerous expeditions and invasions as conquering heroes and hope to receive a heroes' welcome. Instead, they were generally greeted with indifference bordering on disdain.

Their victims around the world thought of Vikings as the most fearsome warriors on Earth, but that wasn't true. The only reason they needed to sail to distant lands in search of plunder and wives was because they'd been alienated from their own communities. They were considered enfeebled outcasts.

The strongest Viking warriors in fact stayed home and forced their weaker counterparts to pay them tribute in food and gold.

Somewhere In North Dakota

Gerald stared at the twenty-foot tower and wondered what it could be.

From a distance, it looked like a giant rock formation protruding from the Earth. It might be described as an upside-down cone or an animal horn sticking out of the ground. Whatever it was, it didn't seem natural.

When examined up close, it obviously wasn't any kind of rock. The old man who was charging one dollar for admission explained. "This here is one of the last remaining stings from when the giant bees invaded. It's lucky the Earth doesn't have an allergy or we'd all be dead."

Tiny King Seamus

He was the tiny king of the world's smallest microdictatorship.

He referred to it as his island nation though it was really just seven-ninths of a square meter that was cordoned off in the vacant lot next to Baxter Park.

"Sing to me not of your troubled refrains and broken governments. We will not recognize your sovereignty until you recognize ours." He always spouted such nonsense through the broken megaphone he carried with him like a scepter.

When they came to haul him off to the mental ward, they found that he'd appointed a rabid rottweiler as Minister of Defense.

Future Tech

People constantly ask me what the future will be like. They know my arrival in this time was accidental but they fear I'm actually fleeing some kind of apocalyptic future.

I worry about the ramifications of my presence here. Will I alter the future and do irreparable harm to my loved ones? Will I ever find my way back?

No one wants to hear about this. They just want to know if their future is safe.

Yet they always accuse me of lying when I say that pretty much everything is the same, except we all travel by carrier pigeon.

Heather

Life on the desert island has not always been idyllic. There's the sunburn and the crab bites and the constant hunger.

Of course, then there's Heather. She had always seemed like the most beautiful woman in the world and now, for all intents and purposes, she's the only woman in the world. He counts himself lucky to be stranded with her all alone.

Sure, even after six months, Heather still refuses his advances, but when she realizes that he will be the last living man she ever sees, she'll surely come around.

It was definitely worth faking the plane crash.