Peter And The Whale

Everywhere Peter went, the whale was lurking. It wasn't just the ocean he must avoid, but lakes and rivers as well, any body of water large enough for the whale.

Some days, Peter would stare out his window at the pond across the street. Inevitably, the whale would be staring back at him. Peter never understood what he had done to make the whale so angry, but by now he understood that nothing but his own death would quench the leviathan's thirst for vengeance.

For the rest of Peter's life, even drinking a glass of water was fraught with dread.

Invisible Ether

Sentience is defined as a state of awareness of one's own existence. For most of history, humanity believed we were the lone species to enjoy true consciousness. We were wrong.

It wasn't surprising when we learned apes, dolphins, elephants, and other higher mammals were definitely sentient. We'd always understood they were capable of a full range of emotions. But when scientists concluded that the dust mites were also conscious beings, people began to freak out.

It's weird to think about the billions of tiny souls floating in the invisible ether.

In a total non-surprise, the fundamentalists are calling them angels.

In Posterity

Humans have always known it's unwise to offend the Gods. They are ventose braggarts and given to empty talk, especially when their anger is piqued. Fail to make proper obeisance and a natural disaster is likely to follow.

xxxx wanted to end the cycle of sacrifice and retribution that had lasted for centuries. He thought the Gods were bullies and believed they would back down if someone challenged them.

After what happened to xxxx, I don't dare to write his name. Suffice it to say his theory about the Gods was poorly thought out and won't be named after him.

Orts And Ends

The Orts law went into affect after the famine of '26, criminalizing the failure to consume even the tiniest morsel of leftover food after a meal. The first offense was punishable by up to ten years in prison.

Lawmakers had failed to anticipate certain side affects of the statute. Pet owners were forced to finish their pets' meals. No one enjoyed having to eat orange rinds or rice paper wrappers, but they were considered edible and therefore included in the ordinance.

Yes, these first world problems still existed despite the 70% reduction in the world's population during the decades-long food crisis.

Fantasy Realm

From a young age, Donald preferred the life of his imagination to the doldrums of the real world. He concocted fantasies that transcended the bounds of his normal life, dreams that promised the fulfillment of wishes he barely dared to comprehend.

In his fantasy world, Donald was no longer trapped in the circumstances of his birth. He had the freedom to literally fly to distant lands and make choices for himself instead of being dictated to.

It was always with bitter regret that Donald abandoned those visions and was forced to return to his life as the King of Scotland.

Sunset On Mt. Olympus

The Gods of Olympus adhered to a series of routines in order to fool the humans into believing there was a giant glowing orb that circled the Earth. These ruses included a great deal of fabric and a bit of fire, as well as a sizable herd of flying horses.

The humans named the phenomenon Apollo, and believed him a son of Zeus. It pleased the Gods immensely that they had fooled the humans into believing in a false God. It truly seemed their power was limitless.

When Hermes questioned why such tricks were necessary, Zeus banished him to Hades.

Policing The City

The victims all offered the same sparse testimony. They were each accosted in a dark alley without warning. The last thing they remembered was a man wearing a black coat and fedora.

The police wanted to keep the stories from making it into the press, so as not to tip off the perpetrator. They made sure to silence all the witnesses.

Of course, a reporter got onto the news and he had to be eliminated as well. When it eventually leaked to the paper, it became necessary to kill everyone.

As you can see, policing the city is hard work.

The Special Works Unit

Jurgen was chosen at a young age to join the special works unit. This was considered an extreme honor. Only the strongest, most durable children were selected. His parents received a large stipend as a reward, and his primary school held a celebratory send-off in his honor.

Jurgen waited for the day of his departure with a mixture of excitement and dread. On the one hand, as a future member of the special works unit he was already receiving special privileges.

On the other hand, the reality was he would spend the rest of his life as a menial laborer.

My Grandfather's Pocket Knife

When he asked me to guess what he had in his pocket, I had no idea he was carrying a star. An honest-to goodness star, not some chunk of comet or a bit of dust.

I didn't believe him. When he opened his pocket, all I could see was a determined blackness threatening to pull me into its bleakness and never let go. He said this was a black hole, and after he explained the physics of it all, it seemed he was telling the truth.

I realized just how woefully unprepared I was for show and tell.

Mathematical Calamity

Calamity followed him everywhere. His primary school was destroyed in a tornado. His middle school suffered an earthquake. His high school burned down in an electrical fire.

As the catastrophes mounted, journalists and theologians began looking at the pattern and noticed him at its center. They speculated he was a malevolent hell-spawn.

It wasn't until his death at the age of one hundred and seven, a four-time widower and the survivor of several plane crashes, two world wars, and the nuclear holocaust, that a mathematician finally made the proper assessment.

Ralph Warner was officially the luckiest man to ever live.