A Mystery Unraveled

Gordon Seckenheim dedicated his post-doctoral research to insect behavior. Specifically, he wanted to learn why moths are attracted to a flame.

His work determined that the moths killed in this way are suicidal. As corroborating evidence, he cited the global human suicide rate of .0074 percent. When you figure there are an estimated 200 trillion moths and butterflies, it makes sense that millions would kill themselves every night. It's simple mathematics.

It was accounted a strange coincidence when Dr. Seckenheim himself committed suicide after his marriage ended.

Or it may have been that his emotional state somehow clouded his analysis.

Simon And The Magic Beans

Simon skipped home with a proud smile. He'd traded his family's last gold piece for three magic beans. He was so looking forward to seeing his mother's face.

His mother's rage was unlike anything Simon had ever seen. She tossed the beans out the window and nearly skinned him alive. She lamented how Simon had brought the family to ruin.

The ruin extended beyond just the family. After the first heavy rain, the beans came alive and began eating all the villagers. Simon insisted the old witch had promised they were vegan beans, but no one had time to listen.

The Boss Man

"The Boss Man is coming!"

The shout was uttered every morning--though later than was expected of the rest of them--tinctured with fear and disdain. They all hated the man, but there was no hope of escaping.

He was a modern day tyrant, controlling his domain as surely as Alexander controlled the Dardanelles. His employees learned quickly to fear him. Those who did not were generally shot in the head and left for dead on the sidewalk down below.

In this economy, no one dared to quit. Everyone acknowledged it was better to get executed than to risk unemployment.

Carver's Law

Moore's law describes a long-term trend in the history of computing hardware: the number of transistors that can be placed inexpensively on an integrated circuit doubles approximately every two years.

The law really should be called Carver's law, because George Washington Carver first hypothesized the same for peanuts. I remember my grandfather telling me that when he was a boy, peanuts were as large as a cantaloupe. These days you can fit about ten peanuts on a ritz cracker, and I can envision a future where we'll all be talking about nanopeanuts. I pray I live to see that day.

The Holy Grail

Percival's search for the Grail is the embodiment of commitment and perseverance. His quest has endured for centuries, taking him to all corners of the globe and even off planet. His heroic deeds, though not well known, will forever be equated with righteousness and purity of motive.

The irony, of course, has not been lost on anyone, least of all God. Jesus never actually drank from a cup at the last supper. The story was meant as a metaphor. Percival's search, while admirable, will always be in vain.

When God told him the truth, Percival decried him as an idolater.

Grand Theft

The Cadillac hurtled through traffic like the driver was at the controls of a video game. He sideswiped several sedans and ran one SUV off the road entirely as he jumped the median and exited the highway from the on-ramp. When he crashed into the guard rail, he brandished a semi-automatic weapon, shot several innocent bystanders, and carjacked a new vehicle. The carnage continued for several hours.

News blogs later reported that seventeen motorists died, including four prostitutes. Journalists speculated on the driver's motive. No one guessed that he was actually a video game developer who had forgotten his medication.

The Toy Chest

Brian wasn't sure how it happened, whether it was the Christmas wish just before his father's death, or the aftereffects of some magical spell uttered generations before in his attic, but every night, when his mother wasn't around, his toys came alive.

The stuffed bears and jungle cats. The toy soldiers. The plastic dinosaurs and the racing cars.

His life was now a living hell. He didn't mind the work itself, but the beatings and tongue-lashings were, to his mind, excessive. If only the toys would tell him what they wanted in a calm manner, he'd finish everything without complaint.

The Closet

Billy was consumed by fear. Somewhere on the other side of the closet door was the man come to kill him.

Billy desperately sought for some means of egress. All he could find were a pile of hand-me-downs and broken toys. He eventually decided his only recourse was to face the end bravely and he opened the door ready for come what may.

It was not long after the incident that Billy checked himself back into rehab. Three days spent in the closet, hiding from the mailman, finally drove home the point that his marijuana addiction was out of control.

The Greenhouse

Every desert harbors an oasis at its heart. The more consuming the landscape, the more bountiful its sanctuary. The soil squeezes every spare drop into hidden, long forgotten recesses, where it will be conducted to safety.

The great desert of my homeland is no different. For the past thirty years, I've acted as gatekeeper for the lonely greenhouse at its center. I have always guarded its doors with my life, allowing entry only to the meekest of souls.

They've promised me a taste of a single drop of water, a generation in the making, on the day of my death.

A Flaw In His Character

Georghi Kuritsa worked a short time for the Bolsheviks. They were always an unruly sort and Georghi was punctual and well-organized, just the sort of personal assistant that made revolutions a piece of cake.

It was truly unfortunate that a flaw in his character made it impossible for him to continue in their employ. If he had not been fired, the split may never have occurred, and Stalin probably never would have ascended to power. Millions of lives would have been spared had the purge never happened.

So it really is too bad that Georghi was actually a giant chicken.