Rebel Rebel

The militia strike proved a huge success, the third mission accomplished this year. But no one had foreseen falling victim to their own ambush on the return to camp.

Only a few people had died, but General Benitez hated to be caught off guard. As rebels against the fascist regime, it was their job to do the surprising.

A message had been found at the site of the ambush. It was signed by Francesco Juan Ortega, one of the General's own soldiers.

She read the manifesto to her men: "I, Francesco Juan Ortega, declare myself a rebel against the rebellion."

It's Only Divine Right

God stared at the tribunal with hate in his eyes. An old testament type of hate, the likes of which had not been seen in many years.

"You realize who I am, right?"

"Yes sir, but rules are rules. We must follow the procedures." God scrutinized the angel Zadkeil and lamented ever abdicating total control of heaven.

Another angel, God did not bother to recall her name, began a roll call of his offenses, beginning with the usual complaints, like unanswered prayers and genocide.

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I plead the fifth, as is my right."

Bizarre Love Triangle

Jack liked to think of himself as a private man, even though everyone knew he secretly had a crush on Fiona. The only problem being Fiona was engaged to David. The other problem being David and Jack were brothers.

Jack had never mentioned his feelings for Fiona to anyone, besides his therapist. He made a point of dating regularly, and bragging about all his ex-girlfriends. But this charade fooled no one, except for perhaps Stanley, who suspected Jack was a closeted homosexual.

In the end, Jack and Fiona and David had a mature conversation, and resolved the whole situation amicably.

No Surprises

Sherlock Holmes perfected the art of deduction to the point that he wielded a peculiar form of omniscience over existence. Through his careful, some would say obsessive, calculations and observations, Holmes anticipated even the most esoteric of events before they occurred.

Centuries later, chaos theorists would pour over his extant journals. They became fascinated by his predictions, sometimes so specific that his diary entries anticipated their own research into his system of ideas.

But what they saw as a nearly divine intuition of the universe, Holmes viewed as a curse.

He lived his life bereft of the pleasure of surprise.

Virtual Insanity

Shibuya Station is nearly empty. The afternoon rain sent all the gamers scrambling for shelter for their mobiles.

I am left to wait virtually alone. The desolation leaves me feeling I am a character in a post-nuclear zombie p2p actioner. Hisamitsu and Starbucks and the latest Bruce Willis movie are the sponsors of my apocalypse. Even my daydreams have become corporatized.

I see her exit the underground. Her eyes never leave her mobile. She walks past, not even noticing the rain.

Her avatar pops onto my screen for a few fleeting seconds.

Our marriage will endure another seven years.

Clean

They were calling it the biggest mass migration in human history.

Millions of Catholics fleeing their home countries and flooding the Amazonian and South East Asian rain forests. Not only were the economies of entire regions being disrupted, but the environmental destruction was unprecedented.

The threats posed by climate change paled in comparison. The false modern idols--money and science, patriotism and Ronald McDonald--proved they were no rival to the power of religion. Millions would die due to the mistake.

All because the Pope, as part of the onset of his dementia, declared that daily rain cleanses the soul of sin.

Heretics

The tribunal accounted heresy as the gravest of capital crimes. The methods of sentence varied according to whim, but whether by fire or crucifixion, their death would be painful.

Bartholomew and George faced their accusers girded by an equal mixture of fear and antipathy. The cowards did not even have the courtesy to face them, but hid behind a poster of black cloth.

"Do you wish to recant?" Only the worst offenders were given such an opportunity.

Bartholomew refused. "I will die first."

And so he did. Gruesomely.

"And you, George, do you wish to recant?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

Graveyard Girl

During her lifetime, she had never actually been to a graveyard. The closest she came was holding her breath as the family station wagon drove by. Nor had she been to a cemetery. Nor a mausoleum, catacomb, or crypt.

But she could distinguish the difference, both etymologically and historically, between each of them. Her favorite stories were set in burial grounds, Gothic narratives dripping with death and love and tragedy.

So even though she was cremated, and her ashes spread out to sea, not many people were surprised to find her ghost haunting the church graveyard near her childhood home.

Echoless Well

The town of Bottomless Well was famous for one reason only.

No one could ever remember any water being drawn from the well. Yet, thanks to its purported wish granting properties, people still visited from miles around.

The well was meant to be a mystery, like God or a woman's heart; it was better not knowing where the bottom lay.

When scientists discovered that the floor reached exactly 36 feet and 7 inches underground, and that the peculiar convex shape and absorptive qualities of the rock prevented any sound from escaping, the villagers pragmatically changed the name. Life carried on as before.

MOOOFASA!!!

We march the bodies of our fallen before us

Their pyres lead us away from the dawn

Our ragged retreat despoils the marshes

As we carry our losses downwards and on

The clever commanders of our teaching have failed us

Now they walk with the infantry, humbled and gray

And all that we’ve learned from their studies in failure

Is the different formations for losing the day

But though our shields are just brittle paper

And though our strength is just desperate fear

And though we’ve been judged and come up wanting

Yet still we’re determined to find victory here