Dr. Herzog's Wind Clock

Ever since Einstein, scientists have understood the relative nature of time. But Dr. Theodore Herzog was the first one to commoditize time. He realized the principle of the conservation of energy was applicable to time as well. If time is sped up in one place, it must be met with a corresponding slow down of time elsewhere.

Dr. Herzog managed to commercialize his findings so that he could sell people time. Unfortunately, his wind clock never made it to market. A future version of himself came back to the present and murdered him, erasing him from the timeline all together.

One True Love

Jesper believed in one true love. He fell for his when he was still a boy, while picking mushrooms in the forest behind his home. He met a girl in a white dress and they played for several hours, so that by the time he returned home, Jesper's father gave him a whipping for being late.

Jesper never forgot that girl. For many years he searched everywhere for her, in his village, in the neighboring towns, along the main road that led to the city. No one knew of such a girl.

It was as if she were a ghost.

The Cash Cow

The Hendersons called her the cash cow. She ate grass and shit out money. Real American green. Tens, twenties, hundreds all came out in equal proportions, with unique serial numbers and the proper security features of United States currency. The cow became something of an attraction and people looked upon her as a miracle cow, of which many neighbors were forced to admit they were covetous.

No one understood how it worked but money being the root of all evil, the Hendersons didn't pause to consider the mechanics. They immediately slaughtered the cow and ground her up for chicken feed.

Tiny Carrots

Baby Joey watched the spectacle from safely beneath the kitchen table. His parents were measuring the brisance of hurled kitchen items and all he could think about were the two tiny carrots prominently displayed on the battlefield linoleum.

To get to them, he would have to crawl into the crossfire. The dishware made the loudest noise. The cutlery, especially the cleaver, certainly seemed the most dangerous.

But overall, from Baby Joey's way of looking at things, the eggs and tomatoes were the most enjoyable to watch explode.

With all the distractions, he soon forgot about the tiny carrots. Stupid baby.

The Inner Sanctum

Maggie, the newest serving girl, waited outside nervously.

"The Queen's in one of her humours," she was warned. "You best be careful."

Maggie didn't ask, but the veteran servant offered an explanation anyway. "Her alembic has disagreed with her constitution again."

Once inside the Queen's private chambers, Maggie had no time to be awed by the ornamentation. The Queen, in all her naked corpulence, was crouched over a chamber pot in the corner.

"So you're the lucky subject who get's to clean the Queen's shit."

Maggie smiled. She'd make a lot of money selling that shit on the black market.

The Thrill Of The Hunt

She sniffed the air. Their stink was everywhere, making it hard for her to pinpoint a direction. But the wind was blowing from the south, so she would start in that direction.

Her handlers urged her to take the helicopter, or failing that, allow them to zip ahead with the scout vehicles. But the glory of a successful hunt would all fall to her. It was only fair that she place herself at the greatest risk. Besides, she found the whole selcouth experience so tantalizing.

After all, hunting your own species is always the most dangerous. And the most satisfying.

An Age Of Darkness

As Dr. Martin approached the site, she noticed the trees showed signs of ancient pleaching. That, combined with the ring of stones barely visible beneath the clover and moss, suggested to her the location once held an apotropaic intent.

Whatever danger these druids feared had long since been forgotten, but Dr. Martin would glean what she could from the remains. Her specialty was druidic song and she was pleased to find several inscribed on the stones. They each referred to a coming blackness, a dark age that would consume the world.

It was the age in which she currently lived.

Mushrooms

At first, the mushrooms were viewed as a plague. Every time one sprouted, the townspeople would vigorously clean the location with the heaviest grade of industrial cleaner, the kind you have to wear masks and gloves to use safely.

They weren't a poisonous variety, but neither did they taste very appealing. Something like a cross between grass and sandpaper. They served no good purpose, and the way they kept multiplying to the point where it seemed you were walking, sitting, and sleeping on mushrooms was creepy.

But when the town survived the alien invasion, people stopped complaining about the mushrooms.

Don't Think Too Deeply

You can bet if anyone discovers your involvement, there will be hell to pay. Perhaps that's what attracts you in the first place. The flirtation with danger. Or more likely, it's the inevitable moment when you are caught and everyone's expectations of you, their belief in your character, their assumptions about how far you are willing to go, will all be dashed.

Or perhaps you go along just because everyone else is doing it. You know you might get in trouble, but there's safety in not thinking too deeply.

Whatever the case, murdering this homeless man will haunt you forever.The Daily Theme from Figment for April 11

Think of a time in your life when, against your better judgment, you decided to give in--to temptation, to popular opinion, to someone else's will.

Now focus in on that decision to relent. In second person, describe those moments of transition, using the distancing effects of second person to allow you to analyze your decision as if it had been someone else's.

You Will Make Someone's Day

It had seemed such a pleasant, trivial fortune: "You will make someone's day." Who wouldn't want to make someone's day? Janet cheerfully left the restaurant, ready to get back to work.

The smile left her face when she was called into Mr. Babcock's office. He was an absolute terror to work for, and in any other economy, Janet would have quit months ago. She fully expected another tongue lashing this afternoon.

Instead, Janet went running from the office, trying desperately to cover her tears. Mr. Babcock's final words were ringing in her ears.

"Firing you has really made my day."

The Daily Theme from Figment for April 6

Write a fortune cookie fortune. Now write a story about a person who receives this fortune and then sees the prediction actually fulfilled.