Napoleon In Rags

It was the season of mists. He had been forced by necessity to pawn his one good pair of pants. Now that he couldn’t confidently appear in public, he sat sulking in his underwear at the kitchen table. He couldn’t remember, Josephine wasn’t there to remind him, what it was like to live in anticipation of making love. Adversaries swooped around him like moon-crazed bats. If he had had a suicide pill, he might have taken it. The world only ever really pays attention when there is a panic or a traveling guillotine or when all the soldiers have syphilis.

From Guest Contributor Howie Good

Howie is the author most recently of the poetry collection Gunmetal Sky (Thirty West Publishing).

My Death

This is a country you only hear about when there is a failed coup or a 7.2 magnitude earthquake or all the whales have syphilis. Most days I feel as if hundreds of tiny worms with razor teeth are whittling my bones. People who have seen me grab onto a wall to keep from falling down in pain sometimes suggest I try heat or special creams. I thank them just to be polite. Meanwhile, a figure in a long black coat lurking nearby sucks on a cigarette, then expels a mouthful of smoke like the monster in a fairy tale.

From Guest Contributor Howie Good

Howie's chapbook Famous Long Ago is forthcoming from Laughing Ronin Press.

The Life And Death Of William Farthing

When William Farthing was born, his skin was marked with a dark spot everyone said resembled a coffee bean. His father viewed the mark auspiciously and purchased a large coffee plantation in the colonies.

When his father died of syphilis, William Farthing inherited the plantation, the only item of value left of his family fortune. He moved to the colonies and took over management himself.

When William Farthing died, he was penniless and friendless, his woebegone life mercifully at an end. The undertaker noticed the dark spot on his skin, and remarked that it looked rather like a horse's vagina.

The Daily Theme From Figment for Jan. 27, 2012

The song “ The Three Bells” tells the story of Little Jimmy Brown (read the lyrics here). In each of the song’s three verses, a milestone in Jimmy’s life—his birth, wedding, death—is marked by the sounding of church bells (hence the song’s title). Choose a similar symbol that recurs three times in a character’s life and tell that character’s life story in three parts—could be chapters, stanzas, verses, paragraphs.