Sir Francis Bacon

CONTEST SUBMISSION:

Sir Francis Bacon, an educated beagle, wondered about his name, did some research, and learned that his namesake was a statesman and writer who lived at the same time as Shakespeare. Some people thought that Bacon was the real writer of Shakespeare's plays. This puzzled Sir Francis Bacon the beagle.

"Why is my name Sir Francis Bacon?" he asked his human friend.

"Because I like bacon, and you like bacon."

"Did Bacon write Shakespeare's plays?"

"No. Silly idea. Would you rather be named Shakespeare? I could give you a spear to shake."

"I prefer eating bacon. And answering to Bacon."

From Guest Contributor: Anita G. Gorman

Martial Arts As A Way Of Life

Ken determined that martial arts would be his way of life and so set about training with both sword and spear. His intention was to practice until he was ready for mortal combat, and then square off against consecutively more difficult challengers. In this way, he would rise to become the greatest master of sword fighting.

Training with a wooden sword is not the same as fighting with a metal one. For this reason, Ken spent three years sparring against fellow students before he felt himself ready to fight his first fatal duel.

His first would also be his last.

It's All Newton's Fault

I'm not one to hold grudges but there are some things you can't forgive. First it was the constant stare-downs. I wanted to stab a spear clear through him, just to make him go away for even a second. I would close my eyes, but I knew he was still there, judging and taunting. He'd mock me daily according to some fucked-up schedule of his. I'd had enough.

That's why I started this war with the moon, a war that won't end until one of us has been ripped from his orbit and flung into the far reaches of space.

The Original Olympians

The original Olympic Games started out of a desire to bring together the warring factions of the Greek City States to do battle inside an arena instead of on the fields of war. Each city would select its best heroes to compete in the most basic athletic pursuits: running short and long distances, wrestling, and hurling a spear or a disc. The champions would achieve the honor of bringing glory and fame to their homeland.

The original Olympic Games ended when a tribe of storm giants descended from the mountains and slaughtered every single one of the participants and spectators.