Crimes And Misdemeanors

Nature Submission:

Mike claimed to feel bad about the slugs, but what options did he have? If they insisted on eating his spinach plants, it was only right that he eradicate the menace. The more humane methods hadn't worked, so beer traps it was.

Well, maybe methods is an exaggeration. He really just tried one option, sprinkling egg shells around the roots. And he'd probably been a little careless about setting a perimeter, making it easy for the slugs to avoid them on their path to leafy sustenance.

But any accusations that Mike enjoyed torturing the slugs is insulting and completely unfounded.

From Guest Contributor Ally Petersen

Ned

Ned woke with a sore head. The boys would be bailing hay, might have a spare half-one of whiskey for him. Still wearing yesterday's overalls he yanked on wellie boots and moseyed along the pot-hole filled coast lane up to the farms. Fred and Slap-head saw him weaving in and out of the irritated cows. Sneakily Fred poured a laxative into his moonshine. Great craic!

After a few good slugs of the bottle Ned hobbled quickly through the gate back to his stone cottage. Aggie was furious. He didn't make it to the outhouse. Her mother's floral sofa was ruined.

From Guest Contributor Valkyrie Kerry Kelly