Driver’s Ed

If you slow down for a yellow light, the cops will write you a ticket. Of course, if you blow through the light, they’ll write you a ticket for that, too. Half the drivers resist but soon give up, half try to hide. I didn’t believe my friends when they first told me. Then people started collapsing due to the stress of the situation. I’d seen rockets explode on liftoff, coyotes violate dogs. Yet I didn’t expect this at all. Our lives are just daydreams in a dead landscape. It’s now a crime in Utah to harass cattle with drones.

From Guest Contributor Howie Good

Howie is on the pavement, thinking about the government.

A Little Something To Look Forward To

Anyone who'd been to space knew the most terrifying moment came not at liftoff, but when the rockets detached near the limits of the atmosphere. This was the moment when most accidents occurred.

Of course Lincoln knew nothing about space travel, and was naturally frightened by the entire process. Then again, he'd known nothing about the future, but here he was in the year 2100. It wasn't how he expected. He couldn't even begin to put the experience into words and so it was best if he said nothing.

Though he did rather enjoy the snacks. They were a huge improvement.

The Daily Theme From Figment For March 22, 2012

In writing classes, we are often told to write what we know. But sometimes it's more interesting to break the rules. So let's turn this one inside out. For an interesting change, write what you DON'T know. Try to sound like a convincing expert on some topic that you know nothing about: the solar system, marriage, bread baking, the hiking trails of the Adirondacks. How convincing can you be?