Die A Little Death

I'd told everyone I knew what I was doing. A real pro. So when the sound system had a connection problem and no one could hear the introductory speaker, my heart dropped instantly. Not because of the mishap. I could talk my way out of a mishap.

Rather, I had no idea what might be wrong. My boss was going to kill me if I didn't get this fixed immediately.

I frantically tested every possible combination of cable and jack hoping for a miracle.

At least the electric shock that killed me happened quickly enough I never felt a thing.

Brief Affair

On night three of a four-day meeting, four of us drank in a bar. I played up to Jim, who was 20 years older, the boss, and buying.

A young blonde walked up and clasped Jim’s shoulder. “Let’s dance.”

Jim cut out faster than our company bonuses.

“She should be carded,” Tony said.

Jim returned quickly and gulped his drink. He signaled for a refill.

“You’re early,” Phil said. “I didn’t expect you ‘til morning.”

Phil, why don’t you suck up to the boss?

“Was she a pro?” Tony asked.

“She shanghaied me,” Jim said, “to dance with her mother.”

From Guest Contributor Tom Snethen

Tom is an Oregonian writing about the scoundrels he met in the chemical industry and being alone and scared as a widower at fifty.

Haircut 2.0

Ever since he switched hairdressers, his wife always made remarks about the result.

“Are you sure he's qualified? I’d even be better at it.”

Came the Great Lockdown when most shops had to close and his appointment at the barber shop got cancelled.

After a few weeks his hair started getting unmanageable, so he said: “Go ahead, dear, show us you can do a better job.”

She started handling scissors and trimmers as if she were a pro, until finally she stepped back, bent her head to the left, then to the right, and said: “Ever considered wearing a hat?” From Guest Contributor Hervé Suys

Hervé (°1968 – Ronse, Belgium) started writing short stories whilst recovering from a sports injury and he hasn’t stopped since. Generally he writes them hatless and barefooted.

The Babysitting Job

Lisa had been babysitting for almost two years, ever since she was 14. Never in her long career had she seen anything so disgusting as this.

Little kids will puke and poop and spit and generally make a mess of everything they touch. Lisa was used to all these awful behaviors. She was a pro.

But she'd never seen a baby molt before, yet that was exactly what this toddler was doing. Shedding its skin and revealing a hard layer of scales underneath. Lisa shrieked and jumped on top of the coffee table.

Perhaps the Iguana family wasn't hispanic after all.