Sinners

When the Church implemented the new confessional system, Pope Earl the First proclaimed it would usher in a new era of community and humility. Father Gabriel had doubts.

"Would anyone like to begin?" he asked the circle.

Heidi raised her hand. "This week I took the Lord's name in vain three times."

It went on like this for several minutes. Sean was holding a grudge at not getting a promotion. Mel was jealous that her sister was getting married.

Then Tony raised his hand and everyone stared nervously at the ground.

"I've been sleeping with Sean's wife for three months."

Future Perfect

It had taken some time to bring the fixer-upper to a standard he could happily call home.

He was in the company of all who cursed the pope amid the loyalist festivities.

He dusted and buffed his bowler unto that classy matt gleam. His sash shone with the pride of centuries.

“Why not be ‘triumphalist’?”

There was no response. None needed.

He wore long johns and fleece under the treasured regalia.

"A dry day," he affirmed.

He practiced a few tunes on his fife and strode purposefully from his front door.

Alone he trod the permafrost-patterned ground of Devon Island.

From Guest Contributor Perry McDaid

Beautiful George

It's hard to believe, but there was a time in the early 21st century when serious art had fallen out of fashion. Everything was pop culture and reality TV and Banksy.

Then Jurgen Mather changed everything.

To say that his painting, Beautiful George, was popular would be like calling the Pope fat. Everyone loved it, including the critics. Single-handedly, it created an artistic revival that continues today.

Of course, in order to be considered art now, a piece must include at least one monkey, but like Earnest Hemingway used to say, monkey art is better than no art at all.