Heather

Life on the desert island has not always been idyllic. There's the sunburn and the crab bites and the constant hunger.

Of course, then there's Heather. She had always seemed like the most beautiful woman in the world and now, for all intents and purposes, she's the only woman in the world. He counts himself lucky to be stranded with her all alone.

Sure, even after six months, Heather still refuses his advances, but when she realizes that he will be the last living man she ever sees, she'll surely come around.

It was definitely worth faking the plane crash.

Mathematical Calamity

Calamity followed him everywhere. His primary school was destroyed in a tornado. His middle school suffered an earthquake. His high school burned down in an electrical fire.

As the catastrophes mounted, journalists and theologians began looking at the pattern and noticed him at its center. They speculated he was a malevolent hell-spawn.

It wasn't until his death at the age of one hundred and seven, a four-time widower and the survivor of several plane crashes, two world wars, and the nuclear holocaust, that a mathematician finally made the proper assessment.

Ralph Warner was officially the luckiest man to ever live.