Very Bad Wizards

Zorbus Glitterwand walked smugly into the Conclave. He was universally regarded as the worst wizard in the world, with several guild awards on his mantle at home testifying to that fact.

So he was disappointed to be met not by awed expressions and veiled jealousy, but rather sniggers and disdain. Did these amateurs forget who they were in the presence of?

The room became deadly silent. Zorbus turned to find his old nemesis, Otto Orriblé. He'd left the wizard for dead after their last duel, 300 years prior.

This night, the Conclave died in a hail of fire and maelstrom.

A Stone's Throw

For eons, stones have found their existence tedious at best, cursed by their lack of mobility and sensory organs. Why have a soul if they were doomed to suffer without ever experiencing anything but their own actuality? Their only solace was that they had been blessed with two nemeses, wind and water, against whom they could battle relentlessly.

It all changed when rocks became a unit of measurement. They found themselves hurled hither and thither whenever someone needed to estimate something's proximity.

Of course rocks had no way of understanding the change. Still, at least they have a purpose now.