A Troop Of Mushrooms

Stephanie didn't know who else to call, so she called the exterminator. She was vague over the phone, preferring him to see the infestation for himself. His condescending tone annoyed her.

When he arrived, the condescension immediately turned to terror.

"I've never seen anything like this before."

So they brought in an expert from the university. He surveyed Stephanie's house and proclaimed it a colony, though he admitted he'd never seen human-sized toadstools before. He suspected they were deadly.

Stephanie wasn't paying attention to his diagnosis. She couldn't get over the fact he kept pronouncing fungi with a soft gee.

Strange Happenings In Northern Pucklechurch

John Nithercott exited his front door to find a clutter of mushrooms in his front lawn. Nor were these ordinary mushrooms. Fantastically colored in psychedelic neon, the shortest one stood over three feet tall.

John diligently choose not to pay any mind to the unwanted visitors as he plodded by. He prided himself on his stolid demeanor in even the worst circumstances, and he refused to give his neighbor the satisfaction of seeing him disturbed.

Mr. Periwinkle was undoubtedly watching, wondering if his latest deceit would finally force John from the neighborhood. One more example of why John hated fairies.

Mushrooms

At first, the mushrooms were viewed as a plague. Every time one sprouted, the townspeople would vigorously clean the location with the heaviest grade of industrial cleaner, the kind you have to wear masks and gloves to use safely.

They weren't a poisonous variety, but neither did they taste very appealing. Something like a cross between grass and sandpaper. They served no good purpose, and the way they kept multiplying to the point where it seemed you were walking, sitting, and sleeping on mushrooms was creepy.

But when the town survived the alien invasion, people stopped complaining about the mushrooms.