The Neighborhood Speakeasy

Earl's Blind Tiger served as the chief gathering place for the town of Hanover. Old men who liked to share memories, lonely men looking for companionship, and young men wanting to prove themselves worthy all frequented the speakeasy on a nightly basis. In addition to the liquor, drama was nearly always on the menu, in the form of fisticuffs and bar sports. Earl knew that more conflict led to more alcohol being sold and more money in his pocket.

Now if only there was a woman or two willing to enter his place, Earl might be able to retire soon.

Vegan Vigilantes

The joint was cased. All that remained was the decision: this coffeehouse or the Dunkin’ Donuts on the bypass?

Roland sauntered inside and scanned the menu--coffee and sandwiches--on the back wall.

“Can I help you?”

“Anything vegan?”

Bewildered: “Uh, vegan? Er...”

An older barista, working a blender: “Nothing vegan.”

Roland stepped back, leaned against the wall, phone to ear: “Mook, it’s the shop on Main. Even worse than Dunkin’. Pick me up in two minutes.”

He replaced the phone with a gun and approached the counter.

“Since your menu isn’t cruelty-free, I’ll take your money. Open the register.”From Guest Contributor Joe Surkiewicz

Joe writes from northern Vermont.

Chamomile Tea

"I'd like some chamomile tea, please."

"Our specialty."

"It's the only thing on the menu."

"True, but we have many options. There's Roman chamomile, English chamomile, garden chamomile, ground apple chamomile, low chamomile, mother's daisy, whig plant--"

"Just the standard chamomile will be fine."

"Please let me finish. We also have low chamomile, anthémis odorante, anthemis nobilis, chamomile d’Anjou, chamomile noble, chamomile romaine, fleur de chamomile romaine, flores anthemidis, garden chamomile--"

"You already said that one."

"Yes, but most people don't pay attention, so they never notice."

"How much for a cup?"

"Ten dollars. Hold on, where are you going?"