Some Things Will Always Remain A Mystery

When Bob achieved omniscience in heaven, pretty much all the crazy shit that had never made sense now became clear. But as he sat on a cloud with Baby Jesus, there was still one mystery that confused him.

"You forgive everyone, right?"

"That's right," Baby Jesus said.

"Even those religious fundamentalists who preach intolerance?"

"Yes, even them."

"I guess they're lucky you're a forgiving God."

Baby Jesus giggled. "To tell you the truth, I don't get why they worshiped me in the first place. Why not go in for one of the more vengeful religions that better suited their temperament?"

Invisible Ether

Sentience is defined as a state of awareness of one's own existence. For most of history, humanity believed we were the lone species to enjoy true consciousness. We were wrong.

It wasn't surprising when we learned apes, dolphins, elephants, and other higher mammals were definitely sentient. We'd always understood they were capable of a full range of emotions. But when scientists concluded that the dust mites were also conscious beings, people began to freak out.

It's weird to think about the billions of tiny souls floating in the invisible ether.

In a total non-surprise, the fundamentalists are calling them angels.