How To Succeed In Business

Stephen had run out of work nearly an hour past and so resorted to tidying his inbox and creating email filters that would almost certainly remain unused after tonight. He thought about brewing another pot of coffee, but the late hour warned him against any more caffeine.

Stephen perked up when he saw the light go out in Mr. Campbell's office. He scrambled for his bag and coat, flipped off his computer, and almost ran for the elevator. He had a clever joke picked out already.

Mr. Campbell hated these encounters. Tomorrow he would call HR and have Stephen fired.

Attrition

I’m meeting with Robert Todd, our best employee. He arrives early, stays late, seldom takes sick days, and works well with staff.

“Bob, come in,” I say when I spot him waiting by my office door.

“As you know the powers that be cut our budget and we have to let some employees go. Since you do the work of at least four of our other employees, I have no choice: get rid of four employees or you.”

“You don’t want to see four families lose their major primary breadwinners, do you?”

Bob didn’t respond.

“Robert, you’re fired,” I say.From Guest Contributor Dave Harper

Dave, a recovering software developer, now finds himself addicted to writing fiction.

On A Rainy Day

Twenty years of door keeping had taught me not to be late to work. I started early on a rainy day. Just round the corner, I saw this puppy wet to the bone. I took him home, dried, fed, cuddled and put him in cozy box. I rushed to my work a good thirty minutes late. The big man called me in, fired me from service. I went back home.

Honest loving pair of eyes greeted me with joy. Twenty minutes care had raked such love in him, I felt, my twenty years of service just went down the drain.

From Guest Contributor Thriveni C. Mysore

The Voice

Stephen had a conversation with the voice every day. It tended to be an incessant dialogue until one or the other of them fell asleep. The voice cajoled and upbraided and urged him to do the worst things.

There was the time the voice commanded him to steal the money from his coworker’s till and she got fired. Or the time it wanted him to cheat on his girlfriend with that woman in the bar. Or his ongoing cocaine addiction.

What made the whole thing even more perverted was the voice sounded just like his third grade teacher, Miss Boggs.

Dirty Work

Selena took a cigarette from Stan with a nervous smile. It was likely too late to ingratiate herself. He knew why she was on the run and he was going to use the situation to his advantage.

Stan had worked for her husband for years. His job didn't actually have a title, but you could call him the chief enforcer. When Richard wanted to disappear someone, he told Stan, and Stan would get one of his goons to do the dirty work.

Selena had never liked Stan. And she had been the one to get him fired.

Part Three

You Will Make Someone's Day

It had seemed such a pleasant, trivial fortune: "You will make someone's day." Who wouldn't want to make someone's day? Janet cheerfully left the restaurant, ready to get back to work.

The smile left her face when she was called into Mr. Babcock's office. He was an absolute terror to work for, and in any other economy, Janet would have quit months ago. She fully expected another tongue lashing this afternoon.

Instead, Janet went running from the office, trying desperately to cover her tears. Mr. Babcock's final words were ringing in her ears.

"Firing you has really made my day."

The Daily Theme from Figment for April 6

Write a fortune cookie fortune. Now write a story about a person who receives this fortune and then sees the prediction actually fulfilled.