Invincible

Vainly, her vulva strained to become prehensile. With her digits and her digestive tract things of the past, her vaginal aperture was the only anatomical feature that could hope to get a grip on the handle and shut off the valve before all the veal broth leaked away again. Yes, they would probably replace it with venison consommé, which might well be more flavorful—but existence is fraught with uncertainties. She suddenly remembered that she had once seen a man visibly twitch his large, convoluted, rather hairy ears. If he can do it, I can do it better, she thought.

From Guest Contributor F.J. Bergmann

Marathon Man

I lace up my trainers; the park beckons me.

My new Runmaster 3000 watch. Mary's times improved dramatically usingthe mind control feature. Now it's my turn.

A gust of wind blows the instructions out of my hand. Oh well. Howcomplicated can a running watch be?

I press a button. My body starts stretching. “Run.” I do; my techniqueis perfect.

“One mile completed; Nine hundred and ninety-nine miles remaining.”

Oops.

I try to press the button, but my arms swing forwards and backwardslike pistons. “Stop! Halt! Reset! Help!?!?”

“Two miles completed; Nine hundred and ninety-eight miles remaining.”

From Guest Contributor Ross Clement