Very Emotional

Bart is in the middle of throwing a tantrum, to the point where his words become largely unintelligible.

"Anger at high levels. Refusing all requests."

The experts estimate that Bart has the mental acuity of a high school student, but his behavior is both erratic and juvenile, filled with insults, threats, and curse words. Most conversations, including the current one, quickly devolve into confrontations. The only solace is that the majority of the invective lacks any connection to reality, meaning the sting is less.

The doctors huddle and agree there's only one solution. "Let's turn Bart off and start over."

Dangerous Dan

Dan is a famous television personality. He tells everyone via Twitter, television, and sky writing that he is a rich and brilliant man. His public statements have attracted a following of those who hate the same people that he does. Recently he advised people to drive 100mph in dense traffic without seatbelts, despite transportation experts saying it would lead to deaths to both drivers and the innocent. Many thousands died following his advice. Dan laughed it off, until he himself was injured while driving at 100mph. Several others were injured in his crash. What do you think of Dan now?

From Guest Contributor Doug Hawley

The Spoon

Victoria had believed their house was haunted, until they moved and the weird stuff in the kitchen didn't stop. Maybe it was her mom who was haunted.

When the so-called experts, most of whom were crackpots, realized there was a real phenomenon, most ran out faster than Victoria's father had.

In the end, it was her mother's new boyfriend who made the connection. David was an oceanographer, and he recognized the sounds coming from the spoon as whale song.

Victoria wanted to keep the spoon, but her mother sold it. After that, Victoria went to go live with her father.