A Troop Of Mushrooms

Stephanie didn't know who else to call, so she called the exterminator. She was vague over the phone, preferring him to see the infestation for himself. His condescending tone annoyed her.

When he arrived, the condescension immediately turned to terror.

"I've never seen anything like this before."

So they brought in an expert from the university. He surveyed Stephanie's house and proclaimed it a colony, though he admitted he'd never seen human-sized toadstools before. He suspected they were deadly.

Stephanie wasn't paying attention to his diagnosis. She couldn't get over the fact he kept pronouncing fungi with a soft gee.

Anything Can Happen

“Why do you think you’re an expert on me?” I asked Jim. We were on another construction job together doing some demolition. It felt good sledge hammering the walls.

“Listen, kid. You’re eighteen and you gotta drop this attitude. People don’t appreciate it.”

“Sure, Jim. Whatever you say.”

“Listen, kid. I’ve seen the world and I know what it’s like.” Jim lifted his shirt to reveal a .45 pistol. “See this. I’ve had a gun on me all day. You never would’ve known. Anyone is capable of anything.”

Jim pulled the pistol cautiously. Fumbling it in his hands he–– POP!!!!

From Guest Contributor Steve Colori

The Ceramic Urn

We own a precious family heirloom; a ceramic urn. Well, it may be precious in the sense of sentimental value but we would like to know more about it. We sent it to an expert.

All eight family members now assemble around the boardroom table to learn the expert’s opinion. The family elect me to read out the report.

“This ceramic urn is African. When the rim chipped centuries ago, someone fitted a silver collar which helped preserve it. In our estimation, it is at least 500 years old.”

“It’s the same age as Granddad!”

Granddad smiles, displaying his fangs.

From Guest Contributor Barry O'Farrell

Barry O'Farrell is an actor living in Brisbane, Australia. Barry's other stories have appeared in Cyclamens & Swords, 50 Word Stories and of course here at A Story in 100 Words.