Interview

When I stepped out of the car, I took a deep breath and cleared my mind.

I hadn’t been interviewed in years and now older, I didn’t know what my chances were of getting hired. My friend recommended me to the department head, and I hoped that would get my foot in the door.

I had my briefcase in hand with an excellent portfolio and references. What more would they want?

I opened the door and entered the office only to be told by the receptionist that the manager had an emergency and I’d have to come back another day.

From Guest Contributor Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher

Person To Notify

"Have I reached Frieda Grompkin?"

"Yes." Frieda did not recognize the voice nor number on her phone.

"I'm calling from the hospital. It's about Ed."

"Ed?" She hadn't seen her ex-husband in 6 years. "What?"

"You're listed as the person to notify. He needs emergency surgery after the accident."

There was some mistake in the record. Why was she listed?

"Tell him he's overdue on his last three alimony payments." It was best not to say, "Tell that bum…"

"He may not make it."

No more payments? But, no more Ed?

"Oh. In that case, thank you for the call."

From Guest Contributor David Sydney

Adam's Apple

“Where did you hear that? She asked, blonde hair peek-a-boo covering her naked breasts.

“An emergency meeting of Seraphim and Cherubim. I was passing by and overheard,” he responded. “You’ve passed that tree a hundred times. The one with the single piece of fruit at the very top. It looks like an apple. ”

“And it’s supposed to have magical powers?”

“The fruit. That’s what He said.”

“Nobody can climb that tree,” she insisted.

“The snake could. He could slither up. You could persuade him,” he winked.

“As soon as I finish hemming these fig leaves,” she winked back.

From Guest Contributor Reynold Junker

Educated

At a student’s desk, she wept. A cheerful message written earlier on the whiteboard: “How are you, Miss Jimenez?” in English and Spanish.

“You can press charges, but I wouldn’t advise it,” one assistant principal said. “He is getting suspended for one day. Any bruises?”

Jimenez hung her head. “No, sir.”

“I’d advise taking a personal day, but it’s so hard getting a sub. Besides, you don’t want to look weak,” the other assistant principal said. The radio squawked - an emergency in the bus lane. The AP’s rushed down the hall on the only day Jimenez left at 4:30.

From Guest Contributor Embe Charpentier

An Alcoholic, A Nuclear Bomb

Fact: an atomic bomb was detonated 8.4 km from where Wally Kazinsky was repairing the toilet in a decent brothel. The brick house shivered violently from the blast, a few windows shattered. There’d been talk of an attack, and Wally considered the possibility. He grabbed his glass of scotch before he went to look out the window. His legs were wobbly. Maybe nervous, but definitely drunk.

People were crying, hurt, bleeding. Fuck. They were probably already bathed in radiation. Wally was dizzy but lucid enough. Time for emergency measures. He found his hammer, and headed to the corner liquor store.

From Guest Contributor Wil Wang