Relic

They found the capsule buried in the desert. Its outer shell consisted of some unknown material, a shiny metal that was alien in origin. Opening it with their bare hands proved impossible and smashing it against the rocks barely left a scratch.

Many theories arose as to where the container came from. Perhaps it was a message from the stars. One wiseman hypothesized it was a relic from the distant past. The future seemed more likely.

When they finally pried the lid off, the language seemed familiar but the words were largely unintelligible:

Crispus Attucks Elementary School Class of ‘25.

The Guidance Counselor

Gerald Dansforth, the guidance counselor at Lakeview Elementary School, had already been growing increasingly disgruntled with his position in life by the time Ripley Harrington appeared in his office for what would be his 22nd meeting of the day.

"And what would you like to be when you grow up, Ripley?"

"I want to be a dragon."

It was more nonsense, and he didn't appreciate giving career advice to 7-year-olds.

"Why don't you pick something more practical, honey?"

"You mean like a dinosaur? I was thinking about it, but Mrs. Johnson said dinosaurs were extinct."

Dansforth sighed. He hated children.

Spelling Bee

The third grade spelling bee at Crispus Attucks Elementary was an annual event that attracted international attention. Students trained strenuously for the competition in hopes of being crowned champion. Thanks to corporate sponsorship, the prize had surpassed one million dollars. Just making it past the first round was considered an exceptional feat.

"Fugacious."

"Legerdemain."

"Pusillanimous."

Parents complained about the difficulty of the vocabulary. Officials ignored them, claiming it was the whining of losers. You never heard the winner complain.

"Oneiromancy."

I.A.N. was the winner again this year. It marked the 13th straight year the artificial intelligence device had emerged victorious.