Keeping Up Appearances

Several seats were open at the bar and I sat next to an elderly lady. "Don’t forget Michelle’s dinner," I thought.

“How do you do?” the lady asked.

“Pretty well. Just getting home from work. How are you?”

“I’m well, thanks. Where do you work?”

“I work as a counselor,” I said. I was a peer counselor but I didn’t want to disclose my diagnosis.

“What’s your focus?”

“Psychotic disorders.”

“I feel so bad for those poor people,” she said as she looked at her glass.

“Oh, I dunno, you’d be surprised. Some of them do better than you think.”

From Guest Contributor Steve Colori

The Confrontation

Two street-wise punks entered the fast food restaurant looking for trouble. With food loaded on trays, they turned to the seating area. One of the two nudged the other and nodded toward a table for six with an elderly lady alone. SLAM! She jumped when they slammed their trays onto the table. A sneer toward the young men said it all.

“Bobby, do you know who your father is?”

“Nope. You?”

“Me neither.”

Smiling, they were sure they had her goat.

Finally, the elderly lady spoke to the two young men. “Would one of you bastards please pass the napkins?”

From Guest Contributor NT Franklin