After Thanksgiving

Kurt returned home after several hours at the bar, slightly buzzed and no longer furious at his wife. He expected the house to be spotless after that disaster of a Thanksgiving dinner.

Instead, when he opened the door into the kitchen, he discovered chaos. The entire house smelled of urine and vomit, and what might have been blood was smeared on the walls and bannister.

Fearing the worst, he ran upstairs, but although he encountered the same state of disorder, Andrea and the kids were nowhere to be seen.

What he found was that damn turkey sleeping in his bed.

Homophasmatic

George had always been different. His parents first noticed something was wrong when he was only three because he had a habit of confusing words that sounded the same.

It took many different specialists before George was finally identified as a homophasmatic. They determined a portion of his brain was insufficiently developed and it prevented him from distinguishing certain sounds, much like a person who is color blind can't tell the difference between red and green.

The worst part for George was that he kept eating his soap and washing himself with his soup, so everything about him smelled awful.