The Guidance Counselor

Gerald Dansforth, the guidance counselor at Lakeview Elementary School, had already been growing increasingly disgruntled with his position in life by the time Ripley Harrington appeared in his office for what would be his 22nd meeting of the day.

"And what would you like to be when you grow up, Ripley?"

"I want to be a dragon."

It was more nonsense, and he didn't appreciate giving career advice to 7-year-olds.

"Why don't you pick something more practical, honey?"

"You mean like a dinosaur? I was thinking about it, but Mrs. Johnson said dinosaurs were extinct."

Dansforth sighed. He hated children.

The Interminable Gecko

At nine years old, every child in the land of Baywater was befriended by a talking animal that served as a guardian. On the eve of their birthdays, the children would wait with eager anticipation to meet their new companions, always hoping they would get one of the cooler animals, like a tiger or dinosaur.

So it was that Stevie Jackson was slightly disappointed to learn his spirit animal would be a gecko. It was especially annoying as it loudly chirped "gecko" in his ear all night long.

At least it would scare away all the girls in his class.

The Black Dots, Part Two

The pharmaceuticals factory was something of a dinosaur, antiquated and larger-than-life at the same time. It loomed so ominously over the lake district that only the most desperate dared to visit. If there was a serial killer operating in its shadow, some of the more authoritarian city elders might have deemed it good for social welfare.

My sinking ship of a career cried out for me to catch the black dot killer, so I conducted the investigation alone.

Turns out I was right about the pharmaceuticals factory but wrong about the killer. The reality was even worse than I'd imagined.

The Family

PB came from a peculiar family. His siblings included an elephant, an owl, an orca, a duck, two monkeys, a chicken, a snake, a dinosaur, and a snowman. They sometimes went on strange adventures, though mostly they lazed around telling funny stories to each other. He often suspected they were figments of his imagination, but he heard their voices even as he pretended to ignore them.

He decided he wanted to understand how he came to be part of such a family so PB hired a private detective.

He was unsurprised when the detective informed him that he was adopted.