A Troop Of Mushrooms

Stephanie didn't know who else to call, so she called the exterminator. She was vague over the phone, preferring him to see the infestation for himself. His condescending tone annoyed her.

When he arrived, the condescension immediately turned to terror.

"I've never seen anything like this before."

So they brought in an expert from the university. He surveyed Stephanie's house and proclaimed it a colony, though he admitted he'd never seen human-sized toadstools before. He suspected they were deadly.

Stephanie wasn't paying attention to his diagnosis. She couldn't get over the fact he kept pronouncing fungi with a soft gee.

Keeping Up Appearances

Several seats were open at the bar and I sat next to an elderly lady. "Don’t forget Michelle’s dinner," I thought.

“How do you do?” the lady asked.

“Pretty well. Just getting home from work. How are you?”

“I’m well, thanks. Where do you work?”

“I work as a counselor,” I said. I was a peer counselor but I didn’t want to disclose my diagnosis.

“What’s your focus?”

“Psychotic disorders.”

“I feel so bad for those poor people,” she said as she looked at her glass.

“Oh, I dunno, you’d be surprised. Some of them do better than you think.”

From Guest Contributor Steve Colori

Withdrawal Symptoms

It’s a four day cycle.

Day One: The wife drops off a computer then rushes out. Next her husband is on the phone demanding both diagnosis and priority repair.

Day Two: They make several phone calls throughout the day becoming angrier, more threatening, and more abusive with each call. Their lives are at a standstill.

Day Three: Their voices on the phone are now almost incoherent, a mix of rage and swearing.

Day Four: I phone advising job now complete, and cost, only to hear, “I’m too busy. I’ll pick it up next week.”

Their cold turkey misery is over.

From Guest Contributor Barry O'Farrell

Barry is an actor in Brisbane, Australia. Other stories by Barry have appeared in Cyclamens and Swords, 50-Word Stories and of course here at A Story In 100 Words.