All-American Reject

Bill had a simple ethos. He believed in the constitution. He believed that the United States was created to combat tyranny, and that this country was the best example of democracy ever created. He believed that if you left people to their own devices, they would generally do the right thing, and come together to help each other, with a shared sense of right and wrong. He believed that a true American would not sit idle while his country was being dismantled by forces of evil.

Bill now realized that he and his radical views had no place in this America.

Medical-alert

In the advertisement, an elderly woman thanks the company. After a fall, she immediately used the medical-alert device to signal for help. She is now alive. But…

"I can't stand that thing."

"How do you mean, Harriet?"

We are now dealing with Harriet and Gertrude. Real people, not women in advertisements.

"George is still alive, Gert."

Harriet had been married to George for 57 years when he fell and successfully used the device.

"Damn, Harriet. That reminds me of Frank."

Gertrude, too, had been married for 57 years, in her case to Frank, who had one of the devices also.

From Guest Contributor David Sydney

D.S.T.

Our test of CesiumApp (Sync Your Devices to The Nanosecond!) launched at 2am, the end of Daylight Savings Time.

But somehow when the clocks fell back, so did we, snapped to wherever we’d been one hour before. We showed up again in the conference room, greedy with foreknowledge. Kyler sold airline stocks short, profiting from a plane explosion. I bet Australian rugby winners.

We waited anxiously for next 2am when an explosion blew the doors open. A hideous half-human encrusted with growths like lichen gasped “butterflies” in a familiar croak, leveling a rusted revolver.

I’d always been handy with guns.

From Guest Contributor Clay Waters

The Painful Meditations Of A Modern Day Buddha

Kevin enjoyed the contemplation of his morning walks, the perfect ritual for tuning out from his devices. Sure, he'd steal the occasional glance at his phone, but only to ensure he wasn't missing an important message.

By 9am, the sidewalks were normally empty, so when the preteen on his bicycle came wheeling towards him, Kevin was surprised. He expected the kid to move into the grass or skip off the curb, yet he continued straight towards him, until Kevin had no choice but to step aside.

The anger rising inside him at the inconvenience was certain to ruin his day.