Wars Have Been Started Over Less

When we first encountered the Alavariuum, great expectations immediately spread across Earth. Not only were they a technologically-advanced extraterrestrial race from a thirteen-planet civilization 23 light years away, but they were friendly and offering to help us expand beyond our martian colonies.

Lately, many of the negotiators have admitted their enthusiasm is dampened. While still congenial, most of the committees and protocol meetings have become bogged down in naming conventions. The Alavariuum insist that every significant planet and star be referred to using their complicated symbology, and we'll be damned if we'll let anyone tell us what to call Earth.

The Life And Death Of William Farthing

When William Farthing was born, his skin was marked with a dark spot everyone said resembled a coffee bean. His father viewed the mark auspiciously and purchased a large coffee plantation in the colonies.

When his father died of syphilis, William Farthing inherited the plantation, the only item of value left of his family fortune. He moved to the colonies and took over management himself.

When William Farthing died, he was penniless and friendless, his woebegone life mercifully at an end. The undertaker noticed the dark spot on his skin, and remarked that it looked rather like a horse's vagina.

The Daily Theme From Figment for Jan. 27, 2012

The song “ The Three Bells” tells the story of Little Jimmy Brown (read the lyrics here). In each of the song’s three verses, a milestone in Jimmy’s life—his birth, wedding, death—is marked by the sounding of church bells (hence the song’s title). Choose a similar symbol that recurs three times in a character’s life and tell that character’s life story in three parts—could be chapters, stanzas, verses, paragraphs.